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noura Aug 2024
Yesterday I swallowed a tiny glass capsule
much like that
I've been walking around in for years
amongst these picture people.
My palm clung to walls made sticky by the heat,
skin to pane,
I could not bear to let go.
I wanted to enjoy their stapler smiles
but the fog made it impossible to see.
I only called it what it was
when I breathed it into the glass.
It was always there.
I wished it would fill the whole thing,
wished I had a match,
so it would serve some purpose.
So my capsule becomes gray and troubling
against its paper background.
So they stop and stare,
Look at the girl in the bubble.
I think she's suffocating.
Like it's a revelation.
Like Gabriel himself hand-delivered
tiny glass pills for them to swallow.
Let me be their spectacle.
Let me be the object of their pity.
Let me be a one-woman-glass-capsule miniature show.
I'll be their tired metaphor.
I'll choke on shimmering shards so they can watch my blood color their roses.
I'll drink until I'm heavy with turpentine.
I will destroy myself.
I will make it clean.
Tiny glass capsule
in my wooden palm
who did you once hold?
Bansi Adroja Aug 2024
I want you to ruin my life
and maybe yours at the same time

I want you to tell me you love me
even if you don't
because for a moment it could be nice
to just be in the wrong

We could sit amongst the rubble
talk about the meaning of it all
as if any of it matters

I want you and I know I shouldn't
I'm just searching for validation
while you look for an exit sign

But, maybe it'd be nice
to set it all on fire and fall for a line
I'm a demolitions expert of renown
Star of the show, the talk of the town
A destroyer of worlds they say
Or at the very least a destroyer of one

Voices rang inside my head
When things were good in my life
The urge to sabotage, the want to destroy
The desire to go off-course, the desire to stop

It has been there for as long as I can remember
Guiding me to the dark path
More often winning than being ignored
It was something I blamed for the way things are

But that was just me, my subconscious, my insecurity
Molding my decisions to be as suboptimal as possible
I need to accept, and got to learn accountability
Face the consequences, and fix the broken crucible

I want to destroy no more, for destruction is already here
Already suffering for the mess I have made
What I thought I deserved, I definitely do not
Now I have to make do with what little I have left

Let it stand as a lesson, let it stay as a warning
Beware when you light the fuse and watch the sparks
They may shine beautifully, but they are searing to the eyes
And if you do continue, give the big boom my regards
Self-destruction and sabotage is a struggle some people cope with daily.
One way or another some people think that they don't deserve all the good things that go their way. So they do some action, or enact upon a decision that will harm the self in ways beyond the physical.

Then **** happens.

There's also the self-fulfilling prophecy of some people thinking they deserve bad things, and do get them one way or another. The law of attraction is a *****.

By some people, that includes me. Self-awareness is a pain that one must endure.
Roxxanna Kurtz Jun 2024
War
I'm at war with myself.
My confidence caught in between
a battlefield of destructive choices,
defeating words and deafening voices,
that strike me down constantly.
I'm over taken by armed anxieties,
their vocalities violently shattering
any chance I've had at victory.
My white flag falling at my feet,
as I hear them scream,
"You'll never be good enough!"
George Krokos Jun 2024
Technology and mass production
may be the cause of man's destruction.
______
From 'Simple Observations' ongoing writings since the early 90's.
Jeremy Betts Jun 2024
I'm failing
And I'm doing it at twice the speed than I'm falling
It's daunting,
Can't shake this loser feeling
Always ******* in dealing
With a mind that reeling,
Emotions that are spiking,
A heart that's spilling,
A soul depleting
And thoughts sent spinning
It's not even something I'm hearing
At least not outside of this in house courtroom hearing
That's taking place every morning,
Going deep into the evening
No,
There's no co conspiring,
No colluding
Or hitman hiring
It's self inflicted self destruction,
Without instruction
And while it's death defying
It's still an emotional beating
To the point I begin wondering
Am I still a living,
Breathing,
Human being
Type thing?
A strange bit of questioning

©2024
Jamesb Jun 2024
Perspective,
Who knew it could be so destructive?
Like the torrent from a breached dam
Driving all before it,
All the good, all the bad,
The imperfect wonder that was you and I
Picked up and flung down the mountain
We climbed so painfully,

Thundering mindless rage and
Self centred affront,
Without ears to hear
Or Understand or process,
No H.U.P,
Just mindless plunging
At the behest of the gravity-like
Decision you made to anger,

So now we are floundering -
Or maybe in your case contentedly floating? -
In the swirling waters of destruction
Surrounded by flotsam and jetsam
Of hopes and dreams,
Of a fulfilling marriage of hearts and minds,
Maybe even marriage of rings and hats and church,
All now sodden and waterlogged

I wonder will it be worth it
One day for you?
To have finally achieved this level
Of destruction to you and to me?
To the future us that we
May now never know?
For I know this sweet heart,
It was not the shoes that did not fit

It was just a grit in the sock,
And the socks are not what
You are disposing of,
Those are still on your feet and the grit
Remains,
Waiting for the next shoe,
Waiting for the next inevitable
Irritation and eventual throwing away

Of another dream
Odd Odyssey Poet Jun 2024
We’ll bury more of the dead; -  
rather than burying the problem  
that caused their death,  

We prefer not to bury the hatchet;  
instead raise them up in arms—
yelling, “let’s all go to war”
louella Jun 2024
a friend to me is like a bullet,
a little sting entering my body.
a friend to me is a swarm of flies,
an unmanageable mess.
a friend to me is someone broken and ruined on the inside.
i love elusively and leave a forest fire in my trail.
you try to call the firefighters to calm my erratic flames,
but you cannot stop me from sabotaging.
you cannot stop me from being alone.
but i love you with every inch of my soul,
hurting when i see your letters slowly disappear from the mailbox.
the fire is violent and you are not fireproof;
though sometimes i dream you are.
i dream i swallow my worries and hurl them in a suitcase down a cliffside.
i dream i don’t burn down the house we built,
instead i reconstruct it when it starts to shake.
you cannot love me from a distance—
i completely understand,
that you wouldn’t char your fingers;
you wouldn’t have any left to touch me with,
sweetly and so compassionately.  
i cause the deaths of so many beautiful things because i fear they will fall apart anyway.
i feared you would run away,
leave me dusty and frail,
but you loved me until you couldn’t anymore
until my fire singed your skin
and your soul just couldn’t bear one more second of torture.
i understand fully why you had to let me go.
writing is so cathartic.
about you and me and of course, about the uncertainty.

written yesterday
published: 6/7/24
Andy Chunn May 2024
A lovely day, the eighth of May, with sunshine and light breeze
You could not tell, that all’s not well and we felt safe at ease
A little blip, a video clip, showed damage way out west
But that was far, and could not mar our little place of rest

The march of time, brought clouds that climb, into an angry sky
And soon the voice, gave us a choice, as winds began to fly
I stood and watched, the radar notched, and signified a storm
I waited to see, the possibility, of it’s mighty form

In lapsing light, at infamous heights, they formed and went away
With funnels strong, it was not long, I heard the voice say
“Take cover NOW, the storms somehow, are imminent and direct”
So in a panic, acting quite frantic, we sought a way to protect

As sullen skies stopped, the stillness topped our deep distraught concern
And all was still, and quiet until, the skies began to turn
Clouds regrouped, and trees were scooped, like toothpicks they did snap
And running fast, entrance at last, was like a treasure map

We were inside, seeking to hide, from winds and funnel cones            
Windows broke, and trees did stroke, our little country home
Our chimney fell, the stones did sail, the rocks blasted our roof
The wind and rain, sound like a train, the damage is the proof

Well I must say, it went away, as fast as it had started
It seemed much longer, as it was stronger, just before it parted
It buried the cars, with trees like bars, in only thirty seconds
Doors blocked, the driveway socked, and freedom clearly beckoned

We were blessed, and if you guessed, this was real and true
In cleanup mode, our small abode, with so much left to do
I ache for those, whose loss arose, to greater heights than this
With nature’s aim, no one’s to blame, just pray it goes amiss
Spring in Tennessee
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