When it hurts so much you expect blood to be drawn.
When it hurts so much you look for the bullet wound.

Maybe that's why people get confused and daw their own blood or when they get their own bullet and place it in their head.

It makes sense when your confused.
Why is it that people look for sense to be made when they're confused?

Maybe sense isn't to be made, its to be destroyed.
That's all, only destroyed.

My feelings disappeared
Melted away
With all of you
All there is left of me
Is empty thoughts
Unsponken words
And dry tears
... ******

color me the hue of your cigarette ash;

slam broken beer bottles in to my palm

and wipe the blood on an old t-shirt. 

paint me pretty with ***** red lipstick
(stolen from my mother)

and stuff me in to china doll shells. 

you say “this change will be good for you”

i say “this is too fun to stop”

my father says “oh good god, what have you done?”

but darling, let’s not listen to anyone else,

and continue tattooing memories on our skin.”

I put your name on a rock
Sent it soaring in the air
I threw it at your house
When nobody was there

I broke all your windows
Throwing rocks and stones
It took all my might since
I’m all skin and bones

Then I took out my knife
Slashed your car’s tires
And hopped in the front
To mess with the wires

Next I sat on the sidewalk
And took out my lighter
Bent down to the grass
While fire burned brighter

Flames spread pretty fast
Almost reached your door
I watched with excitement
Just waiting for more

Burning against the dark sky
The house was almost down
It really was quite a sight
You could see all over town

I had destroyed everything
That ever belonged to you
But darling you destroyed me
So what else was there to do.

Twilight. Clear skies. The merry Moon brightened.
Past a million faceless entities, he clumsily hastened.
Concerned glances- he emanated an incomprehensible sorrow.
Yet his sad eyes met none; he walked on-his head hanging low.

Her endearing smile- from one dimple to the other it had playfully run,
The dreamy sparkle in her enchanting eyes as she had spoken, sans inhibition.
The embarrassed blush that would succeed her laugh- untamed and resonating.
Which to his ears was a symphony of the finest notes, of the richest tuning.

In the days close to curtain-fall, ceased had her symphony’s pleasant sound.
The sparkle cruelly fled her eyes, as her golden locks embraced the ground.
How he had yearned for the malevolent illness to leave and return their bliss.
But he could only remain spectator as dreary Death proceeded to make her His…

Armed with tears, the pretty lilies on the prettier Lily’s gravestone laid he,
In the eerie silence, the symphony in his mind his sole solace would be.
As his tears hit the soil, she looked down and sobbed without respite.
The melancholy Moon dulled. Overcast skies. Night.

There were plenty before you,
But don't get me wrong
You were my first love.

The priors i loved but
I was never IN Love
Till the day I met you,
Your innocent smile & golden heart
Never will I forget;
How you told me
I was only your second kiss,
You were 18 how could this be;
You were reserved n pure
Before you met me.

A year of on and off
& we fell IN Love
You knew the ****** deeds I did
& one day near the end of summer
You invited me over; caught me by suprise
When you lead me to your room
And removed your shirt

The pregnancy scare
Is what tore us apart,
I wasn't there;
Trust was broken,
& faith in men destroyed,
You never smoked
nor drank till after this
You must have been trying to escape

We stop talking
Cause you needed space,
I never once thought I should text.
You felt unwanted n used
By the way I lacked to try
I destroyed you,
corrupted you,
And I'm guilty of that

We agreed to stay friends,
But that didn't work
& we went our separate ways
Then last Christmas as if a miracle,
You came back into my life.

I never stoped loving you,
Never stopped hating myself

I let be known
That I'll lend a ear
When ever your down.

You must think I'm being sweet
Just to get another hit,
But the truth in the matter is;
I know you'll never take me back
Not after what I did

But I still feel guilty
And I wish to mend the wounds
After all I'm the one who caused
Them all.......