bile splatters the wall
dreadful peace fills my veins at once
it’s all going to be okay
the worst of this is tooth decay
i can’t rely on others to know better

how can something so disgusting feel this pure
why does this burn in my throat bring me closer to perfection
tears feel valid only when they’re forced
it all feels so wrong
but i can’t let go of this control
peace can’t stay here anymore

but don’t leave me like everyone else has
i’ve given up on everything
i can’t face the world without you
tears shed just for you to stay
please lie in this filth next to me
don’t flee like the rest
there’s no other way i can cope today

the mirror leaves me unrecognizable
the reflection is a lie
you can’t let this happen
here to destroy me
the progress we’ve made
i can’t become an embarrassment once again
i brought you here to take on some of this grief

lonely times in the bathroom
the tile still feels so cold
warmth you gave feels like daggers in my stomach
like bugs trying to escape
i didn’t eat the food
it’s eating away at me

my mother is like the queen
she is the queen of everything
but in the sense that all that matters is reputation and
i am merely a means to an end.

i am the pawn on the chessboard
and she likes to play with her pawns carved out hollow,
brittle shells on the edge of breaking.
she likes the power of holding a fragile heart in her hands
to nurture and then destroy as she sees fit
for her own entertainment.

is it still my fault i turned out the way i am?

These lies,
Are what keep me from falling.

But these lies,
Might also break me.

Days go by
Rainy days
Depressing days
Grey skies
I live in a hotel and I'm bored
I'm very lonely
I am a lonely girl
I paint, I make music
I try to keep myself busy so I don't end up in depression
Life is hard
Loneliness can be soothing as it can be bitter
I feel like my life is defined by waiting for time to pass
We feel alone but we are not
God is there to strengthen us
That's why we need to pray
Pray because Jesus hears us and is there
He protects us from evil
There is no such thing as evil
It's just demons that want to destroy us
But we must fight them thanks to God
God is in my heart and it's thanks to him that I'm alive today
Pray my child and all your demons will disappear

You were the sun;
Bright, warm,
Destined to destroy the Earth.

His love was like an earthquake, and it rocked her world.

But one day, it destroyed everything she had built for herself.