some see love akin to softness,
to a gentle gaze or a calming touch
but to me love is a cold slap given on a winter night
a wake up call when in the perfect daydream
love is the way i think about him; the way it hangs so heavy around my heart
like a noose that slowly tightens more with every thought
and yet it is impossible to stop
even as my circulation gets cut off
because thinking about him is like breathing to me
what petty trickery
he plays me for a fool
to make me choose between my wellbeing and my heart
when he already knew my choice
right from the start

One day I will look in the mirror with a soft smile.  
I’ll turn left and right in love with who I see.
I will see the beauty in myself
when all my curves have vanished,
and all that’s left is a bag of skin and bones
where I once stood.

As I shut my eyes, I wailed and wept with no control.
My sorrows were flooded with my pitiful tears,
with every drop a cry of pain.
The aching heart and the struggling body yearned
over my miserable fate. I have undermined the power
of love, that is tearing me part by part as I desperately try
to cling onto an illusory fate.
I'm lonely in my confines of drowning despair,
protecting from it reaching her. Every now and then
her eyes would flick in my mind, to keep me sane.
For all I wanted was to see her smile. Now
our hearts are growing far apart...