How deep is your love?
How far can you go for that one person
that you hold very dear to your heart?
Will you cross the seven seas
to get a glimpse of their eyes?

Your eyes remind me so much
of the deep caverns of the seas
Your gaze are so intense
that I am afraid I'll get lost into it
Your passion so deep
something that enamors me to you
How can someone harbor such fire
that even water cannot put out?

Your voice like a siren,
and the anchor in my ship
You keep me right above the water,
something that keeps me afloat,
that keeps me to my sanity
and the very person pulling me deep

Though, I don't want to touch you
For the fear that you might slip away
from my grasp
Like sand flowing away
as the wind disperse it on my palms

But I kept holding onto you still
Like an oyster holding its pearl
You're the treasure I hold the dearest

You are very like the waves
that comes back to the shore
Though I am not your shore

I know very well
that I cannot swim
Yet
I hope you'll come by
to save me just in time
Just how you always did

I want to wake up
at the sound of your beating heart
beside me, with that intense stare of yours

I want to be the one
who will trace the lines
of your calloused hands laid out for me

I want to get lost
into the depths of your soul
as we both exchange our love wordlessly

I want you and me
intertwined into each other
with your hands wrapping safely with mine
As if you don't want to let go

I want you to love me
to look at me the way
I would look at you
to look at me in that way
you would give in
through the music you create

I want to love you
to express all the love I have for you
I only wish for you my dearest

But sometimes this want
is the hindrance to it all

But
I want you
I still want you
**But I must not

As I lie in bed writing this I feel an overbearing sense of nothingness, emptiness.. void of any emotion when normally I would.

Writing to me was therapeutic, calming progressive for me. But now..it's lost it's edge. I no longer feel creative, the desire to pick up the pen is gone and I'm back to square one. This was the one thing I was good at.

My fix wasn't taking drugs or getting drunk. It was pouring my soul into my work...and now....

It's gone...I don't know what to do.

I'm literally at a

loss

for....

In trying to pick out a pattern in chaos,
I found neither symmetry nor direction.
It just was- and that's all it needed to be,
Unadulterated.
Speculation free.

No rhythm, no purpose, no agenda.
Just pure chaotic goodness straight from a sourceless chasm

To even attempt to decipher the endless web of desires,
of sorrows, or fleeting wonder- is to attempt to unravel the spider's web by speaking it. It is to sing down the moon.
It cannot be done- but there is no harm in trying.

Lord I come to you with my jar of tears, though I've lost count through the years

I know you have every one counted and numbered, every tear whether awake or while I slumbered

Lord I cry, this one thing I ask, and is it really too much a task?

To be unconditionally loved by one so dear, and to have someone to go through life and to be near

All I desire is to be a husband and a father, to love one woman and never another

To raise up my children in your holy word, even when to the world it's so absurd

Father, I cry, my heart does weep, please my desires allow me to keep

For I thought I was there many a time, but always was cast out feeling my worth less than a dime

My heart is so broken I don't know what to do, Father do you hear my words when I cry out to you?

Lord I wait on you... I know your timing is best, please grant me peace and give my heart some rest

Set the fire
In your desire
To become great
Amomg your mates.

Face your fears
Dry your tears
Aim far up,
Do not stop,

Loose no hope
You will cope,
Battles will end,
Do not condescend.

Set your eyes
On the prize,
It is yours,
Fill your stores.