Is this love,
longing,
or sickness?

Because my heart is racing.
I just want to message you,
to know how you’re doing.

I feel like I’m suffocating,
like I want to run back to you—
and I want to justify it,
saying it’s your prayers working,
that it’s God telling me
I should never have left your side.

I feel delirious,
wanting to ask you
to run with me
on Sunday morning.

Wanting to come home,
to kiss your mouth,
to have our bodies pressed together.

Wanting to see your smile again,
and hear our—your—songs.

Maybe I’m dependent.

Your kisses
are dry across my body.
They don’t excite me anymore—
they’re like a lullaby.

I don’t feel desire,
I’m sorry.
I don’t know what happened to us—
if love cooled,
or froze completely.

I don’t want you to touch me.
My toes used to curl
every time
your hands
moved across my skin.

Now
there’s nothing.

The only thing
you two have in common
is your sign:
Pisces.

And I’m the mermaid
who’s already chosen
which one to keep—
but still,
I wanted you both.

I told you no.
I should have walked away.
But I’ve been rejected so many times…
I think I’ve embraced the cause.

I should be a strong woman—
but what does that even mean?
Thinking only of myself?

Forgive me, my love—
next time,
I’ll open everything
I possibly can
for you.

sweet and sticky
candied flowers

callouses over the warmest spots
whispers brushing against cool stone

honey drips off your lips
sinking —
into the deepest parts
of all i’ve lost

go slower, take over
consume for hours
never ending, all devour

sunrise coming
trembling, begging
go slower, it’s not over

.

I run my fingers
between my legs
searching for pleasure
something that
usually
I don’t feel in my day-to-day
just a little, I beg
make me feel
something

Her body swayed, night’s mistress, hips caged in silk’s heat.
I froze—her lioness gaze, her eyes undressed.
A temptress sculpted by shadow, my goddess—complete
She grinned—my name, her voice, a purr—confessed.

I froze—her lioness gaze, her eyes undressed.
She pawed valleys, mounds—denim mines skin.
She grinned—my name, her voice, a purr—confessed.
The forest awakes—her fingers explore within.

She pawed valleys, mounds—denim mines skin.
On swimmer’s blocks—wet lycra stirs lioness primal lust.
The forest awakes—her fingers explore within.
I bared my pulse, then silence under her tusk.

On swimmer’s blocks—wet lycra stirs lioness primal lust.
The crowd drank in my form—a hushed gasp, then her ******.
I bared my pulse, then silence under her tusk.
I'm caged for all time by her thirst—for love, or just lust?

My ambitions made me devour you.
Blinded by pleasure, just to seek sweet relief from you.
You're the devil in this seduction.
You're devotion wrapped in silk.
You're not Eve, not Adam,
but the hiss beneath the tree
that I willingly bit.

How can I forget your scent?
It lingers like fog after a shower spent.
Will you take me to paradise,
or burn with me in the fiery pits?
Every time you're near, the tides in me arise.
Your touch feels like damnation.
Every time I feel you, I'm further away from salvation.

Blood has never tasted this good,
tears have never made me look so good.
Will you look at me as you sing my name?
Do you even hear me pleading as I try to be sane?
Are you the chaos who will unravel what's underneath?
Tell me all your secrets while I am beneath.

You taste like blasphemy,
taking away all the holiness in me.
Your hands continue to taint me.
The way you move has been taunting me.
Being with you feels sacrilegious.
Devotion has never felt this good when I'm not even religious.


- N.V. 🥀