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Weight gain
Weight loss
I'm in my hypomanic period
I have insomnia
I'm hyperactive
But I get tired... I do a lot of things
I move around a lot
I know that soon I'll have my down phase
It's the phase where I sleep for hours on end
I eat and do nothing
I gain weight
Then it starts again and I'm a live wire
I stop taking medication
Medication takes away my inspiration
I'm a vegetable when I take them
I'm no longer myself
I used to be unable to manage my emotions
I used to have tantrums
Today I manage without difficulty
It's a rollercoaster life
It's going to be like this all my life
I have to learn to manage
But I can no longer afford to be 'unstable' for my son
So I'm doing the best I can
I love you all
xoxo kass <3
maxx 4d
what a sick coincidence
some cruel ******* joke
crafted by the god
he so desperately believes in


why would he want me
when he has two daughters
one he’s molding into everything
i refuse to become


the other still clings to his shadow
like it’ll keep her warm
telling me to be more forgiving
as if he ever earned a single ounce of grace


where was he when i needed a father
not a ghost with loud opinions


he disappeared
then returned
acting like he deserved applause for showing up late
to a life he walked out on


you don’t get to pick which parts of me you accept
and still try and call it love


i’m done pretending this day holds any weight
that it means anything more
than a simple *******


i made it without you
and that is the only thing
worth celebrating
angrier take on my last poem
I was born into shadows, not into light,
Since breath began, nothing felt right.
Not broken by moment, but by design,
A stranger to joy, even in my prime.

Thirty one years, I’ve watched life unfold,
Not in color, just quiet and cold.
Not hated, not loved, just unseen,
Like dust on a shelf, caught in between.

No one has called me their reason to smile,
No one has asked me to stay for a while.
I’ve spoken in rooms that swallowed my sound,
I’ve stood in the crowd but never been found.

What good have I done? What trace have I made?
My efforts feel hollow, my memories fade.
Just ticking through time, a silent parade,
Existing, not living, a slow, aching fade.

And yet, here I am, heart still in chest,
Wounded but breathing, unrested, unblessed.
Each morning I wake feels more like a dare,
To face one more day when no one is there.

So if I am nothing, not needed, not known,
Why does the ache still cut to the bone?
Perhaps it’s the proof, however unfair,
That even unseen, I’m still something there.
Kalliope Jun 5
When I was young
I was scared of ghosts,
Now I greet them every night
in the mirror
11 pm
I kept thinking you’d soften
if I stayed quiet enough,
if I showed you what gentleness and love looked like,
that you might try it on.

But you never changed.
You never even blinked.
And I kept bleeding
thinking it was part of love.

I wanted you to be better.
Not for me-
but for you.
But wanting didn’t make you kind.
It only made me blind.

You didn’t hurt me by accident.
That’s just how you are.
And I’ve spent too long
writing apologies in my own pain
for expecting more.

So I’ll stop pretending
there’s a softer version of you
waiting just around the corner,
just to make things a little easier.
apricot May 21
i wanna scream
and shout
and let it all out
If you talk
in your dreams,
what does this
really mean???
conversations of
the unknown,
  while in your
dreams are shown,
is it someone
that you know???,
or is it a
complete stranger???,
as your mind
steady wonders, and
as your dream
steady lingers,
If you are talking, while
unconscious, while you
are steady dreaming,
just know it's
very harmless, but has
certain meanings,


B.R.
Date: 05/7/2025
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