The traits you once considered d e l i c a t  e
Are now traits I should e r a d i c a t e
As you r u i n e d aspects of myself I didn't even know existed
As you brought to the surface
A yearning d e p e n d e n c e
As our soul intertwined,
As your path met with m i n e
I got caught up in the midst
Of the combination of our substance
And in the midst of it a l l ,
I l o s t a sense of myself.

You give me the good ol' blues

I took you for the happy feels but the happy feels done gone

I'm close to tears again
It's not you
I'm just broken

Maybe I shouldn't have done what I just did

I took two ibuprofens
And two codeine pills

Yes I was in pain
But not the kind you think
I was suffocating
And needed to wash them down
With an ice cold drink

But now I'm numbing
The pressure subsided
I am a little lightheaded
It's not what I wanted

**** I shouldn't have done that
There's a slight thumping in my right temple
Hey?! Arent you supposed to be a painkiller?

I took you for the happy feels
Where the happy feels at?
I'm still broken, nauseous, and sad

I took you for the happy feels
But baby you give me the blues
My fork shakes as I hand it to you

Honey dont leave me
I'm lost and confused

I took you for the happy feels
But you gave me the blues

Baby baby, im red yellow and blue

Im listening to sad songs, singing the blues

Baby dont let me cry
I'm hurting

I feel each beat of my heart, pumping

You were my happy pill
Now I'm just lost and confused

I took you for the happy feels
But all you made me was blue.

And I’m afraid of you but it’s not your fault.
Because everything is grinding on my wires right now,
yeah I’m tense and still so much I’m paper-thin.
It feels like my bones are hollow and with nothing to hold my body
I’m caving in.
I just feel naked right now, I just feel frail with self-doubt, and insecurity.
And so I show up at your door, hoping you can put me together like before.
But I’m too weak to feel quite sure, that you’re safe (for me) right now. But I know that it’s okay, to be afraid around you.
Because you let me feel what I need to feel when I’m here.
And you be the balm to my frayed nerves and settle me,
and lighten me,
and soon enough my head that’s plagued with ghosts, will be debugged by the thoughtlessness of haven in your arms,
yeah you deactivate my false alarms.

The finest of intricacies,
Clung firmly upon thy wrist,

Harmonious,

Motion drives that beating heart,
It's man who stirs that rotor,

A skeleton of the sturdiest of bones,
Amongst, that movement lay,

Gear's spun all so elegantly,
The very composition of your complexities,

A fluent waltz between man and mechanism,
Interdependence,

Oh what admirable craft of a God.

did you know
we are made
of stardust?

a million wishes
are made upon
our bones
our eyes
and our blood

every night we see
a part of ourselves
dotted in a technicolor sky

every day we bid
those stars a good bye
until the night comes again.

how dependant
we seem to be
on stars.

how dependent
we are on
each other.

Oh mirror, the flattened cornea,
Whom do you belong to, dear?
-Who love me as themselves.

Oh my childhood Barbie,
Whom do you belong to, dear?
-Who put their breath in me.

Oh the young walking stick,
Whom do you belong to, sir?
-Dependence of helpless old.

Sometimes
you miss segments of her
and you wonder if it is
due to how she revealed bits and pieces of herself

It amazes me how...

On some days you take out all the blankets;
spread them across the bed and bury yourself
In warmth and then in hiding

While

On other days
you lay bare and daring -
unclothed, uncovered, unashamed

But perhaps this makes you feel closer to her...

Dependence. I danced with dependence that night. A disgusting word on its own, but when you say co-dependence, now it sounds nicer, right? It sounds more socially acceptable. It sounds like adoration. But I hear heartbreak. I hear one misstep and the whole dance crumbles. I hear stepping on toes and twisting ankles. I hear broken sobs, and a strained "I'm sorry." I feel the pain that courses through your whole entire body. I feel the vibration of the living earth, and the struggling breaths just trying to get some **** air into those stubborn lungs. But you're still thinking about how soft his hands were and how you'll never get to feel them again. I hear disaster. I hear "What now?" I hear grieving. I feel his hands.