#denial poems on Hello Poetry

Jon Apr 24

its lights are on
glowing dimly
like an abandoned parking lot

the concrete
dappled with
cigarettes
pebbles
people
stones
cigarettes

the sign still says they're open
we all know they're closed
they just don't want to tell us yet

#urban #denial

Mariah Apr 15

Bad Egg

Can't you see me?
Can't you see?
How its supposed to be
You had to teach me

A burdensome chore
You chose to ignore
So you left me alone
Wondering why I did so on my own

Now I know nothing
I'm always running
Under the pressure
I'm crumbling

The unformed person
Hiding behind the curtain
Ashamed of being the burden

Now you can't see-
but when you think of me
I'm gone and you're still
Hating me

How I'm ought to be
It isn't clear to me
And I'm sure you'd happily agree
I am lost at sea

You were so headstrong
About knowing all along
I was unworthy and ugly, loud and wrong
Now I suffer
Nowhere to belong

You can no longer tell me to go
This is my home
Piece by piece, blood and bone
I built it on my own

You know of my unbearable pain
Trying to live life your way
And you know I couldn't stay
When you were the one sending me away

I don't want to grow old
With my life feeling cold
All thrown away
Feeling myself decay

Its not my responsibility
Your incivility
Never a child to you,
But a void of hostility

Your high horse far away from me
And I know,
that even though
I can't see you looking down
It is a certainty

Creative were your reasons
To deny the diseases
That plagued our house of stalled seasons
So look away, so you don't need to believe in
The winter that we lived in

Deny, deny, deny
The distance between you and I
Came from you, and your willingness to
Misidentify
"This child is not mine,
It Chooses to defy,
There is Rot inside."
And I can never be satisfied
With your answers when I ask why

"You, you, you-
You chose to do-
Everything bad that happened to you."

How could I
When I was the child in knots
And you were the tie

If I am a Bad Egg-
and I am Rotten -
Then you were the Broken,
Beaten Down fridge that I was in

For my mother.
I never wished it of you, but I will die someday, just like you want me to.
And maybe then, you could finally be proud.
Or at least, you could finally stop haunting me.

#bpd #anger #ptsd #neglect #hate #gaslighting #rage #abandoned #rejection #denial

Alucentemit Mar 18

The Puncture of Denial

If you live for their acceptance, you'll die by their rejection
I embody the poison in the elixir of my fruit
Enthralled with thoughts, habits, expressions of thine self

Adoration for passion infects me with your selection
Your concoction soaked the tree of my root
If you live for their acceptance, you'll die by their rejection

Sought by the bread of affliction
I'm concrete in my own pursuit
Enthralled with thoughts, habits, expressions of thine self

Infatuation fueled my permission
A fire of conviction, enticed by a bite of a core once rebuked
If you live for their acceptance, you'll die by their rejection

Idle in submission
Innocence lies on the bed of my tongue to taste its fruit
Enthralled with thoughts, habits, expressions of thine self

Caught beneath the lukewarm embrace of sweet lies within inner disputes
Agony dresses my soul as it peels off its linen in its pursuit
If you live for their acceptance, you'll die by their rejection
Enthralled with thoughts, habits, expressions of thine self

#denial #love #innocence #passion #infatuation #acceptance #rejection

Yllu Minaré Mar 14

I Hate Math [Part 2]

We saw each other more often
frequent as the primes in 1 to 10
Mending each other’s boredom
widening our degrees of freedom

Ranted on things under the sun
Noted our signs, roots, and sum
We took turns airing problems
Shared proofs for peer checking

Did sanity check on our numbers
Whether in life, music, or games
Exchanged secrets and dreams
Reciprocated emojis and DMs

In the end, we skipped one thing
An asymptote we avoid touching
Assumed “us” was undefined
Then met our limits and resigned

#math #denial #avoidance #unspoken

Jon Feb 4

interred

take
a cigarette
and smother it
in earth, let it witness
the ground.
cover
it up so it
is never
found.

#shame #regret #denial

Juliana Feb 4

The shortest three months

And how will i feel when you leave in three months
Perhaps to another town, state, country even
I wouldn’t know
We never talk

Its sad that ive wasted the last two years
Right next to you
But blind

Its sad that it was only a couple weeks ago
When i first saw
When i saw you walk down the hall
And thought to myself
Oh my

And its sad that i will go my whole life without ever talking to you
Without ever getting to know
Whats behind that guarded smile
Or that instagram profile

Perhaps we’ll meet a decade from now
You will see me
And you will think to yourself
Oh my

And i will finally get to know
You

#love #crush #denial #hope #wish #man

QueenOfTheAshes Jan 28

I still curse.

Peter, your ghost doesn't linger
Not as much anymore, you've got others to adore
And I searched for you again for a while
Almost forgot, you left me at the Nile

In the dark pit of my past life denial
I swore it felt like I was under trial
Made me feel I knew darkness before you
But I knew it all because of you.

And in the memory you don't recall
I know I was left behind and you did nothing at all
Just as it used to be
And just as you showed yourself to me.

And maybe I'm reaching for the unseen
But you showed me what you mean
In the dark pit of my faded memories
It triggered my miseries.

And I won't admit to a thing
Like the writers who let lamps burn
I thought of you in secret and then in his bed I would turn
I did blame myself for it all

And I still curse and ***** as I dig my own pitfall
When it's all set and done
Their bones will rot and I'll watch myself return
To do it all in the name of the fire I swore to watch burn.

#peter #curse #denial #past #life #unseen #misery

Jim Vaughn Jan 14

Predestined Indiscretions

Your self sabotage is a transient orchestration
in soft pursuit of a potent vexation,
juggling vices as a decade old
one trick pony
circling pastures to meet itself
in the middle of an argument;

You’ll dawdle in the toy aisle,
linger in the doorway,
and parse the wounds of
a family member standing afield;

It could end when you let it,
yet the turmoils have you rattled
like a baby shower gift
presented in glass,
refracting sandy memories
that turned to pleas by a
roadside marquee;

Lone hotel escapades
with uncertainties
set sights on useful
youthful hastenings
brigaded into shoe boxes,
skipped lunches,
and a forgotten birthday
and ripple harm into a harmful world
while we reel at the
second hand trauma
which announces your presence;

The countless open-minded scars
that set you apart
can consume all but echoes,
reminiscent of muddy punk tunes
appearing out of thick air
and plucked with the vengeance
of a forsaken child
who never had enough candles to
blow out,
who conceded happiness to pollinate
fall out,
who branched into nothing to escape
burn out
and who stitched longings into trials
that all end with the conviction
of a jealous ghost

#youth #hardship #trauma #baggage #denial