these are not my hands, they are my bow and arrows
they are my weapons, my self-defense, my fortified walls
they flex and bend and push and cradle and create and destroy
i find in them the source of my power
they're the brave ones, tracing down my thoughts when my lips are too cautious to speak
they're the proud ones, delicately vain as they sketch the skeletons of beauty onto dusty piano keys
when i am empty and numb they stir a spoon in a cup of tea and wait for me to feel something
when i am shaking with a great and terrible anger they clench and unclench and clench and unclench and clench and unclench and heal
my hands are my heroes
and they are my villains
i control the volume in my palms because sometimes it gets loud and because sometimes my heartache is deafening and because sometimes i need to drown in the thumping, the crashing, the assault of my fingers on the unassuming ivory
and because sometimes i wallow in my self pity and because sometimes it feels good to be surrounded by the quiet sound of my tears on my cheeks
from my fingertips to my wrist i am a goddess, all slender bone and delicate veins snaking under taut, soft skin
i feel capable and lovable and just able, just pure, when i crack my knuckles before returning to my writing
it is easy to forget that aphrodite could cause catastrophe too, that her face (my hands) were more than just pretty and decorative
i remember each hit
each poke
each grasp
each clench
each stretch
each caress
each punch
and i love them like my children
the pain i've brought, from my right hand to my left forearm and from my left hand to someone else's right cheek and everything in between, it is with me always like the scars i've left and i could hate myself
so easily
but in the aftermath of my earthquake, i love my power
comfort is knowing that i'm a straight shot
that my bow and arrows can execute what odysseus did
comfort is knowing that i'm a *****
that i unnerve those that deserve it and dethrone the prideful queen
so i sleep peacefully even when i don't sleep

Quickly he picked up
keenly examined
and seemed to admire
the handy penknife
with sharp blades,
quite functional,
she hurriedly pulled out
from the clutch she carries;
she was searching
frenetically for something
when it inadvertently
showed up, she deliberately
didn't pay attention
to his expressed curiosity,
yet her eyes adequately
answered his loud
unasked question.

In words he didn't ask WHY?
though it echoed in his eyes.

​You open the door and a screech pierces your ears, but they're not coming from the old rusty hinges your father never cared to repair. Those screeches are coming from the Rottweilers inhabiting the room your parents once used to rest. The volume gradually increases with each conscious step you take, and as you do, your mind is capturing the whispers of the demons possessing your parental figures; "*******", "good for nothing", "drunken *******", "***** *****" are the offensive terms you learn to use in "self-defense". But is it really self defense if the spewing venom is poison to your heart? It's as if you were a scorpion stabbing yourself in the chest with your own venomous tail to see your ex-lover suffer. You walk in and see acidic spit coming from their lips, and they're just getting burned from the spit of the other. They're playing a game using their words to see who's acid could burn who to death first - but in this game, who's really losing? Are you the loser if you choose to die by the hurt words of your lover or if you killed the one you loved because you struggled to find the words to say you did? You were hurt and you loved them to death - but then you actually killed them. You killed them and now the person you learned to love is gone forever. Now you're dealt with a bad card; you have to learn to love the monster you've mistakenly created. Learn to love the sound of your skin sizzling at the touch of the acid sent from its lips. Learn to love the way it holds your heart in its meaty hands, and squeezes it too hard from the rage. Learn to love the sensation of the fallout: internal bleeding. Learn to love the pain and spread the joy! Show your kids the true meaning of a family portrait, it will then live on for generations to come.

Once you're past
The initial wall around my heart

You'll find that
The only defense I have
Is a rusty wire tomato cage

And all that does
Is keep me standing

My head
Understands
The complexity
Of your caress
And the
Power beneath
Your skin
To evoke
A deeper level
Of self destruction.

My head,
However,
Does not
Understand
The complexity
Of my carelessness
And the
Power within
My heart
To shield itself
From self destruction.

-bes-

On October 17, 2006, President Bush signed into law, the John Warner Defense Authorization Act. The law allows the President to declare a “public emergency” at his own discretion, and place federal troops anywhere throughout the United States. Under this law, the President also now has the authority to federalize National Guard troops without the consent of Governors, in order to restore “public order.” The President can now deploy federal troops to U.S. cities, at will, which eliminates the 1878 Posse Comitatus Act.

This means the president holding office will control everything, including the arrest of whomever he deems threatening. All communications are controlled, all media is controlled and now the president controls DHS, the military and police.

All the joint training we are seeing between the military and police leading up to Jade Helm, it's a qualification, the police and sheriff departments are being qualified for federalization. Personnel have to be qualified first, before they can participate in joint operations (signed off). This is how the system works.

Also, the other reason for this is for tracking and supply. The government uses specific forms that are entered into the logistics and supply system. If everyone is federalized, the system runs smoothly, because everyone is government document/program number approved and recognized by the same system, not an off shoot agency that require more work to track and less benefits when supplying personnel and units.