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I exist in the abysmal state of solitude, where I, whose existence survives in profound literary pieces, could fall short of mere words penetrated—cast against me. Where would I be if I can't find the right words to say?

In front of me is a sweet orange juice menacingly teasing me with its dazzling pumpkin hue. Beside it is the apple pie I swore my life I would never put in my mouth. Yet, the sun glistened brighter when I gently put my fork down and absurdly ate it with my eyes closed.

The sadness that lingers deep within enthralls me more, as I swiftly swallow and digest it without tasting all its flavors—just so I can return to reality. I try to keep it all together, even as my spirit is crushed by the thoughts that seep in, nipping at the edges of my soul—through the cracked window of my vision, and the half-drunk orange juice. These thoughts keep coming in, like an intense downpour after a shower. I have tried to write this simply, yet I could never find the right words to say.

I could never forgive myself.
the first whole month of this year felt like unending closure and goodbyes of the past and the future. i wasn’t living in reality but between these two. a lot has happened from the first month until this day. i felt like a child trapped in a 20-something adult’s body, and it’s terrifying to know that i will never meet that child again. it’s like a cold january and a warm fuzzy december being distant yet closer in edge.

i still can’t fathom those thoughts that i am already an adult. i have to work and try and fail until i come of age and die. it’s unnervingly a hard pill to swallow. and it’s making me sad.

televangelism - ethel cain
The ocean feels vast and mysterious, doesn't it?
The sunset paints the sky in golden light.
The silence after a storm feels peaceful,
As the stars seem so distant tonight.

The world continues to turn,
The clouds drift lazily by,
The waves keep crashing on the shore,
As the moon looks lonely in the sky.

The flowers bloom in vibrant colors, don't they?
The mountains stand so tall and strong.
The world feels quiet in the nighttime,
As the wind whispers its gentle song.

The stars twinkle high above me,
The wind sings a melody,
And in the stillness of the night,
The world just keeps moving, endlessly.
Autisma Feb 4
Drowned out by divas
It was comfort that left us unprepared for this
This being the circuital embibement of chores and books
A choice to unentangle the moth from the web
Leaves one with typical but still misunderstood disturbances
Dad is a peadophile
We had ***
And now they're naming me a newt
A wet creature, suited especially to specific environments
A sham executed from the musical tenemants is one thing
But a crammed into trailer park is just a shame.
what makes a butterfly float, when everyone else is drowning?
The eyeish eckelecktic rom capacity can be blown away
And the attitudes of specs can thwart their own terrain
But if a pen draws blood, there's not room left for anything
So tell me the joke, esplanade yourself beyond my reach
Coke yourself up, give a scream, patent this work as your own, cherish the tub thumping
Be a cherub though rather than an angel, excrete malignantly and door slam the foreign light.
But someone must decide if the light is foreign.
Open to interpretation
Francesca Jan 31
When it was just a dream,
   I sonder away into restless thoughts,
Capturing the essence of you,
   Too soon to vanish within time,
Care for me like you do,
   A crave of love from the unknown,
Yet somehow you felt right,
As we wondered into the distance,
   Chantering merrily about our lives,
Your face a blur haze yet so vivid,
   Eyes shimmered a thousand words to be unspoken of,
The rich hue of strands that lay beneath your chin,
   Comfort washing over my heart,
Until the time of us is cut short,
   Ripped apart into nothingness,
Distraught in our distance,
   When all it was, was just a dream.

-ILYSMIT
Call it women’s intuition—
but she knows the power of silence,
how to bend you to her will,
whether she’s calm or not.
Eventually, you’ll crack,
if given enough time.
Trying to figure out what’s wrong,
following her from room to room,
asking question after question—
whether you’re crazy now
or crazy later,
it’s soon to happen.
Oddly enough,
the various cigarette and liquor companies
profit from her silence—
the way, even at your best,
it still finds a way to get your attention.
Even if you manage to block her out,
bringing it up at another time is just an argument.
It’s best to take a minute and get yourself together.
no matter what you do.
You can’t trust the way she stares,
you can’t trust the way she laughs.
It’s all a trap.
You won’t realize it until it’s too late.
Through her messiness,
through her beauty,
through her chaos,
She just wants to see how you’ll react,
if you’ll reach for her,
even when she’s right in front of you
Àŧùl Jan 6
The hospitals,
They sold our disorder
To the pharmaceutical companies.

Places that ought to look after us,
They look at our purse,
For the drugs.
My HP Poem #2038
©Atul Kaushal
One day,
there won't be a knock
or a call to announce where I am.
I'll walk across your ribs,
towards the light of your heart,
to a door that swings wide open
to a place where I am welcome,
a place that I've earned the right to be.

It takes courage to open your home
to someone.
Each room held up by boards
of trust.
your head, your mouth,
an attic filled with old memories,
fondled by silence,
as patient as you are.
I would never evoke your wrath.
As sturdy as those boards are,
I know they still creak,
eager to lash out.
Not in vain, but out of protection.

If one day that is the case,
I will accept it,
for it is not just your heart
but all of you that is my home.
And if something is broken,
we'll work to fix and repair
what is torn apart.

Here, in you, I am home.
And I will take care of every part
of you.
One day,
there won't be a knock
or a call to announce where I am,
because you'll already know.
I wouldn't accept your key
if I weren't absolutely sure
that I wanted to call you home
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