That's not about what could've happened
It's all about I want to realize
I've dreamed enough, I couldn't help it,
But now my eyes are open wide.

I take the charge and choose direction,
And head towards a happier life.
I swear I had to learn the lesson:
My joy is up to me, myself and I.

I get stuck too,
because
sometimes
I wonder
what to say
when I
myself have not finished my waiting,
my obsessions, my doubt, ...
and when I finish it,
how will I be able to advise you?

How I can be sure?

When, still, all my obsessions
and commitments
go hand in hand.

I don't know,

Honestly,

Sometimes,

If these words are not superfluous,
Forgive me for announcing you
That you have your own life,
Wait for it!
As she waited for you …

Blue flame

Like the change of autumn leaves, my fireplace has turned to blue flames.
As I let your words tabernacle my vision,
I can only see what could be on the canvas of my heart once plain.

I anxiously wait as the sun sets for your greeting,
Should I knock on the fragile walls of our friendship, as you plaster over the hole that showed me what could be?
Torn between my blue passion and your request for no names,
Where is the window to let these butterflies free, where is the button to skip these autumn days?

If feeling were contagious, I would wrap you in the blanket of my illness,
Let you fall ill to the warmth of my heart
For if your request is to cure my love’s sickness,
Then my love, let me fall asleep slowly because this feeling has been one of the greatest.

Alone in a closed room, my air runs to you as I try to catch what’s left of my breath
Longing with a blood thirst for your crimson lips, let me taste the colours of your palette
But you keep to the wall and I to the bed, denying a taste of this pomegranate
I smile and you laugh and I stare knowing we’re not done yet

I silently and passionately burn blue,
Don’t be fooled by my colour as I change my hearts posture for you,
But before your frosted wings fan my fireplace blue
Answer me this? Why won’t you let yourself feel for me too

You told me you felt for me too, words that built a castle of hope in the sky
But by morning your words had been dipped in dye
“As friends”, you explained! Therefore I will not argue your lie as I help plaster over the hope in the wall
But some days I truly dream to see it all crumble and fall
It hurts to put out the flame, just to let the candle stick of our friendship wax tall

It’s days like this
I want to write
When everything comes to a halt

And I am left between the two
And I don’t know which way to go

Just need to choose
Which of the two
Will cause a bit less suffering

Meanwhile I am in between
But we know it won’t last forever

I’ll make a choice
Glancing at the other
The suffering is still here
No less, just different