People are always so full
of themselves
but when you need to depict yourself
apart from all the valid reasonable
arguments
you just forget who you really are
you turn into a carrion &
your now cold dead eyes are the ones
in the crow's beak
its unsuccesful attempts to
taste your weaknesses
from inside out
it would never be able to chase you down
but now that you're a parting gift
welcome be the one
that will dissect you quick & harshly
they won't ever care
about what you were
or could be in life
your hopeless future could've come about
once or twice
but you tried hard enough to stop it
by giving yourself a lethal deadline
weren't you?

i’ve heard people explain
if **** and cigarettes are smelled
it’s coming from me, a perfume
i only have to light.
they’re used to my repetitive nature,
my decaying body stuffed inside
a six year old leather jacket.
it's a running gag that I
destroy myself on an
hourly basis. it's funny that I
spent most of high school
clawing at my wrists to get
the fatal flaws out.
I put myself on display
and then get uncomfortable when
I'm asked for a blow by blow
of my most recent suicidal episode.
the gashes on my arms seem to be
an invitation for people to ask me
personal questions whose answers
are only given as whispers under the blanket of night.
i am open and yet how closed am i,
the wanting to be heard conflicting
with wanting to create an air of mystery.
so when you smell smoke just know
i am around, i am waiting
for my name to slip out
when friends bring up
“crazy exes.”

I been drinking since I was sixteen .
That was many a moon ago.
I been in the party life most all my life .

It was a natural environment I fit in like the ******* furniture .
I played the scene for all its worth found many a warm bed seldom was it my own.

Then for awhile I stepped away .
Never from the bottle just from the scene.

Many thought the edge was gone that the wolf settled down became some old dog sleeping upon the porch.

But anything planned is often foiled by life.
And now back to what will be my cemeteries  existence  I return.

Alone but then again a lone wolf isn't the a wolf if not alone.
The fangs still sharp with some fresh scars on display.

False happiness and full of **** .
It wasn't my choice to return but at the party till my death shall I stay.

We all find ourselves wherever the **** we least expected .
You can't plan life but you can catch a buzz somewhere in the ******* inbetween.

Cheers

Gonz

Decaying by the     cove, a crowd of leaves,
content and concealed     in traps of comfort.

the world advances one funeral at a time
death seeps in slow and sly for us
hovering above you like a hand above a fly
death spells out the world bit by bit

so dance like thunder in the rain
let shade turn the water black with pain
with the vile filth that pours out of our rapacious cracked lips like hate
pooling and festering as we sit ignominious in a pool of our own putrid regurgitate

and this is our "modern" ravaged world
shiny, sleek, innovative exoskeleton
like the corpse of a dragonfly
we lay dead and glinting in the desolation of our wrath
life devoured but soul gleaming
rot within full of rot and rot

do we not weep
for our animal kin, hunted and banished from a world that is theirs as it is ours
take their home take their skin
mass murderers of the diverse
and for what I ask.
to innovate? to invent? to create?

HOW
when we infect everything we touch with disease      fear      hopelessness      greed
the mercy of divine gods could not touch upon that which we have destroyed

the life has slipped between the fractured bones we have stripped clean
peck away, rip ruthlessly, repeatedly
for we have nothing left and still we keep poisoning earth, unscrupulous, with excrement

we are all scribbled onto her **** list
for our contribution of
entangling her in nets, hanging her with plastic, caging her, ****** her, beating her, felling down her wooden limbs
then watching as they fall proud to the barren soil, it's provisions reaped and plundered
she will watch
as we, engulfed in her furious flames, burn back into the ashes she forged us from

there will be nothing by the time we realise
the sheer magnitude of our mistake
come our imminent demise
Mother Earth shall weep waves

the walls of water shall rise high
and bare no remorse as they crash tremendously terrible and wash away our sins and our souls
the water will crush our bodies just as we fracked the earths skull
it will drown us just as we suffocated her in oil and putrid waste
just as we choked her with smog and fumes and smoke
just as we chained her up and whipped her till she bled out into the core of her eternal soul
our empirical greed deserves a modern death and that she will deliver

we tilled her dry, ***** her
fertility disappeared as quick as a full belly
ghost of green haunts the brown naked carcass that once hosted sprouting life
we dowsed our own crop in ******* **** and waste and we wonder why the worst of us go hungry
she has the right to grasp us in the sharp clutch of hunger
to stew us in a vat of our own emaciated decay and death
but she needn't bother as we shall demolish ourselves as we did our planet

finally we vengeful children will know too late what it means to **** outside your own front door

KG