the hallway is longer than I remember
but the walls still blink like old televisions
buzzing static prayers, I never meant to say
and maybe that’s the only truth I’ve ever told
I used to think
that graves were for the dead
but I saw you last week
sitting in the shade of one
talking to the stone like it owed you something
dust in your fingernails,
coffee spilled on your shirt
half-smile like a cracked jar
I asked if you were okay
and you looked right through me—
said nothing but “almost”
there are holes in the ground
that match the shape of our names
and the wind knows all of them
it whispers backwards in the morning
pulling memories from my throat
like strings of wet wool
I buried my first version of myself
beneath a playground slide
age seven, maybe eight
he didn’t cry, just sank
quietly, like a stone in jelly
and then the others followed—
the one who thought love was a sharp light
the one who learned to lie like breathing
the one who stopped writing poems
sometimes I wonder
how many funerals I’ve missed
how many of me
are just waiting
for someone to say goodbye
have you found your grave?
or are you still
digging with your bare hands
pretending the mud is gold
pretending the silence is sleep
maybe graves aren’t endings
maybe they’re just
rooms we forgot we built
with all the doors locked from the inside
and no windows,
just mirrors
fogged by time and sweat
maybe we aren’t supposed to find them
just feel them
under our skin
pressing like questions
no one’s brave enough to ask
