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the girl
gauzy dress
tattered and torn
burning
breathless through brambles
reaching a river
pursued
panting
she must cross it
take a step into
freezing water
numbing bones
shaking shivering
pale skin and blue lips
trip
and
fall
hands fall forwards
trying to catch
whatever is left of yourself
but pieces crumble and scatter
on mossy rocks
sharper than they
look
howling dogs and
snarling men
filthy
hunting
they will be here soon
so get up
because there is no more time
to lie here
and wish you are not
the girl
who was maybe once loved
face down
in frigid murky water
the only company in death
those who persecute her
as her pale body
begins to rot
even god
starts to
forget
about her
first
her hands
then
her face
then
her hair
until there is
nothing
left
so that when the dogs
frothing lips
raised fur
and the men
roaring voices
savage thoughts
arrive
the girl is gone
nothing left of her but a
whisper of wind
and the scent of sandalwood
and strawberries
and summer days
long forgotten
but now remembered by those
who never knew them
maybe god didnt forget her
maybe he saved her
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I hear in this tavern,
upper middle classes,
talk of their families
and boys and their girls

I drink my whisky
and not a ******* Scotch
and fill my belly with crispies
not worry about my lesser notch
on their belts they call Mr Jones
and all their rights and never wrongs

I don't care of their bragging,
as I know the truth is a color red.
Disease and all disabilities
will lead to their lies leaving.

A child under a breathing machine,
not that I think its justice in gold,
I hate to see a  single child suffer,
But this is all I have ever known.

I don't gloat and belly laugh,
as I know they'll all go through
this from the first tongue of waif
a mirror is always me seen through.

This world is killing me.
I suffer in reverse of belief
I'm not any good at sinking
that 8 ball that towers.......
I'm sorry. My moods just turn from being happy to sad, I can't control them.
I knew this early on
But
I put it in a box
I wrapped it
taped it up
Put it as far away as I could
in the back of my mind
I hid this massive box away
under some smaller ones that I was saving for another day

After some time
Eventually
I starting opening the boxes
Began to process what was inside
It came time to look in this specific box
The one that I hid so distantly
As I opened the package
Feelings came jumping out
They came so fast
Worry
Dread
Sadness
and fear

The reality began to dawn on me
I had let him down
I hurt everyone by hiding this package so far away
I didn't want to see
Or remember
Something had began
And I desperately wanted it to just go away
It wouldn't
It won't

Disease only worsens with time
With no one to push him
To show him he's loved
He didn't see the point of trying to get help
I left the box for weeks
That time is endless when you feel so alone
He'd put it behind him
Ready to let time take it's course
I told him I wouldn't bring it up
That it wasn't anyone's business but his own
I told him it was his life
He could do what he chose
I tied it up and threw it in a ******* pile
For days
For weeks

Now I'm awakened
I see this so clearly
I shouldn't have said it wasn't my place
I was selfish and misguided
I let him believe it was fine to ignore this
I let it sit
Let it fester
I didn't show him what his life meant to me
I didn't show him how much I care
I love him so much
Forever
and always
But what is forever when time is passing before your eyes

I sit
I cry
And cry
I can't make up for this time
Where he didn't see my love
I didn't show him the true meaning of the word

Now we'll address it
See what we can do
How bad is it?
What are the options?

My tears are shed
Day after day
Realizing what I've done is hard to bear
Leaving it so long
Not trying until now
I cry
And I cry
And I cry some more

This one thing
This thing I chose to ignore
Unforgivable
Life changing
His life
His future
Our future

Each box I had put out of reach
Even the ones way in the back
Every box was a gift
Something so precious in each
This was the biggest one of all
It wasn't only a gift.
It was
It is
Life.

For now.
She was truly awake
Only when she bled
Her inner demons rattled
Aroused by the deep red tears

Birds caw with hatred as the blood drips from her skin
Circling around as she drops to her knees

Long, sticky tongues brush her cheeks
Thousands of tiny legs
Skittering upwards
Through the fog of her mind

A bird caws from afar
Teasing her
With sounds of a promise
Yet to be broken

Creatures come
Greedily suckling from the corners of her eyes
Crawling across the cracked walls
Of her mind
Clawing to destroy her anguished thoughts

She hears wings flapping
Swooping down
Birds
Speaking to her with cries of mercy
Knowing in death
She would nourish those
She had once destroyed

Pecking, scratching
Ravishing her broken body
Tearing her insides apart

If you looked down
Your eyes might capture  
A speck of new joy
Her soul no longer filled with hate
Devastation torn away

Lonely bones
Free from concern
Lying in wait
For a mouth full of jagged teeth
Perhaps a wolf
To devour her
Finish her off
Whenever he gets the urge

She lies lifeless
Peaceful
Soul cleansed
She is prepared to nourish another
Like never before
I wish I could dream where I roam,
place back all un-threaded seams
Born again with a nicer clone
and outlive all my nightmares
all of I planted these seeds,

I don't wish to be a monster,
tormented by lovely dreams
of how I am so missing her,
and this void has the abyss tear.

My eyes are yellowing and my chest,
feels a pain as my liver pain pierces
Every dream was of my perfect job,
Now I lay in bed for days and don't sob.

What is the use of crying?
Rare is ever happiness.
Lyin’ on the bed,
dreamin’ of nightmares I’ve never met.
A glittering show of blood,
a scene that surely won’t be done.

Tick-Tackin’ is the clock,
I just don’t care about those eerie sounds beyond the lock,
whispers full of black,
like someone is trying to enchant a cat.

Earin’ knock-knocks on the door,
Death itself is down the hall,
it’s close enough to make me scared,
but far enough I barely care.

Sparkin’ is the future,
even if I already see some ugly failures.
I’m afraid, but I don’t hide,
so why should I even think that despair that’s no longer mine?
When you're too deaf to ear his steps
SL 3d
A gift of perpetual silence,
from a deafening scornful frequency;
Eternal tranquility, we chase,
so is it considered victory?
Victorious it must feel,
for the one who departs abrupt;
In the halt prior to mine,
leaving a chaos in my heart.
He guest-starred on "The Jeffersons" and "Serpico".
He also guest-starred on "The Bob Newhart Show".
He starred in "The Sting II", "Iron Eagle" and other flicks.
This very talented man died at the young age of fifty-six.
He guest-starred on "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and "Archie Bunker's Place".
Lung cancer ended his life too soon and he was a credit to the Human Race.
DEDICATED TO MICHAEL ALLDREDGE (1941-1997) WHO DIED ON DECEMBER 19, 1997
Indulging in the flash, caustic symbolism
No barriers block my path, of hatred guided fury
To escape this mortal life, an underworld destiny
Obsessed seed to mutilate, this religious tyranny

Make them die...
SLOWLY!!

I am called Pariah, bathing in sin
Bring forth the righteous pigs, I shall have their skin
Living for dying, what more can you ask?
My hunger grows stronger, lusting to see
The children of heaven, begging for mercy
I shall make them die, slowly

Die, slowly, now you feel the pain! (The Pain)

Tied down, chained up. locked in place
Cut up. gored out, stabbed in the face
Transfix, crucifix, to Christ you cry
Eyeless, mortified, sacrilegiously putrefied

I have seen through the seven gates
My prophecy of Darkness, killing Christians
And my lust for holy, human flesh
I make them watch their master die
The ******* son, Jesus Christ mordaciously... ...CRUCIFIEDI
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