Mountain so high
Please tell me why
Why you continue to grow
The worlds falling don't ya know?
Up is where you belong
If only I were that strong
I'd follow you wherever you go

To dear me
Is who I write
The new future
My current plight

To dear me
The one I owe
Did you finally see
How you could grow?

To dear me
I’m full of lies
I try to hide
From prying eyes

To dear me
Stand out from the crowd
Don’t fear to be
The one that’s loud

To dear me
The fears you have
Are the key
To learn to teach.

I talked to them yesterday,
I told them my feelings, giving my brightest smile,
They gave me one too, but one of pity,
I'm not the one they want.

I was happy yesterday,
They said yes to my feelings,
smiling at the possibilities,
It only lasted two hours before regret,
The 'almost' coming to an end.

I was messaged last evening,
A paragraph on my social media,
I thought it was to talk about the day,
But it wasn't in the way I expected.

They went back on their words,
Told me sorry they don't have the time,
I said I was relieved and that "I'll be fine!"
But all I wanted to do was scream for the 'almost'.

I almost had it,
The feeling of being enough to someone,
I wanted to feel that about myself,
But I wanted help doing so,
I cannot blame them for not feeling for me,
It's their feelings not mine,
But I wish they never thought me fragile,
As it exposes what I've hidden in time.

I will forget them inevitably,
After all I always do,
Suppressing feelings and memories,
But I can't help but think of almost,
And the 'almost' that was almost there.

And here I am in my bed,
Still waiting for that almost to be had.

Filled with sorrows were the eyes,
Written with blood were some lies.
And I painted a picture with tears and cries,
Cries so deep that the bravest soul dies.
Now lax and loveless my corpse lies,
Farewell, my dear myself
From a world that was never wise.

Does riding home
Without a seatbelt
(Left unbuckled on purpose)
Count as a suicide attempt?

Asking for a friend
Who lost control of the wheel