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he always asked for permission.
not like a formality —
not the way someone asks
after they’ve already decided.
but like he meant it.
like my no
wouldn’t make him flinch.

and every time,
i said yes.
and felt his hands
move like they’d just been
gifted a map —
not to conquer,
but to understand.

even when his fingers slipped
under the hem of my shirt,
found the small of my back —
he paused.
and gave me a chance
to say no. it’s enough.

even when his hand
brushed against my bra strap,
barely there —
he whispered sorry,
as if the air between us
deserved an apology.

i didn’t ask,
if i could touch you
further up.

and that —
that’s what i remember.

not the way he kissed me.
not the taste of that night.
but the way his respect
intoxicated my mind.

looking back,
i think that was the moment
he opened me up,
let my feelings spill,
whilst keeping his own still.
and god.
i loved him for that.
this one is about the way someone touched me with care — and how that respect undid me more than any kiss ever could.
It started as a joke,
Some harmless fun.
Then the air cleared from its smoke,
I no longer wanted to run.

What’s this new desire called?
I’ve never felt this way before.
My heart now feels loud and stalled;
This is something I can’t ignore.

This must be love,
I see her as a dove.
She lights up my world,
Where shadows curled.
we play two rounds of pool.
he beats me twice.
now the air between us
is nothing but teeth and heat—
and in my head
he’s already got me
on the table,
thirsty for every part of me.

he grins, asks
exactly what i’m thinking,
and god,
he’s right—
it is too fast.
a week in,
we’re breathing
nothing but each other.

so i settle into his lap
just to rest my head,
to counteract—
this.
us.

but his mouth
finds mine,
and the world
tilts open.
this one is about the early days, where chemistry is a kind of gravity that swallows everything else.
August 5, 2025
Nikita 7d
Like water flowing down a drain
I stand by and watch as
My time spins round and round again

Chest heavy and eyes weary
I reach for it only to slip
I sigh, this doesn't happen rarely

Aimlessly staring at nothing and everything at once
I only wish I wasn't viewed as one of the runts
Dating is a game and love is a fabricated connection in hopes of stability
he kissed me
by the river —
soft, sweet,
almost right.

but he wasn’t you.
and he didn’t notice
that quietly,
our magic slipped away.

he sent me a text,
still in a haze,
wearing the memory
of my taste
on his lips.

as i read it, i cried.

because i wanted the boy
who broke me,
instead of the boy
who tried.
this one is about trying to move on, when your heart still belongs to someone else.
August 2, 2025
i had a set of rules once,
i don’t know if they still apply —
especially after breaking
a quite significant one tonight:
thing is, on the first date
you shouldn’t kiss anyone.

i don’t know why i’m bothered by it
when we specifically agreed
it wasn’t going to be one.
this one is about pretending the rules will protect you — and breaking them anyway.
i told my friend,
it wasn’t like that.
we said — agreed —
this still wasn’t a date.

then you sat down
with a coffee,
making me forget
every careful phrase,
every non-confession
i’d whispered to my mind.

we wandered the city
until sundown,
as if we didn’t know
every corner of it.
and when the night
started to settle,
i offered you an out —
you had plans.
you just smiled,
waving them away.

neither of us knew
what we then began.

because i told my friend
it wasn’t like that.
but now i’m not sure
what i was trying to defend.
this one’s about the kind of almost that lingers longer than it should.
July 25, 2025
Sonora Jul 19
s.
   s o n o r a ,
n.
   n o t  r i g h t  n o w
a.
   a m  b u s y ,  c a n ' t  t a l k                  
p.
  please don't leave
d.
  d o n ' t  g e t  a t t a c h e d  s o  f a s t
r.
  rare is true attraction and rare is reciprocation. how quick you are to dismiss it
a.
  am I to go on with my life as if you are not a steadying force? you will let me stumble
g.
  g u e s s  ******>.
.
.
n.
  now is the end? love is irrational but you don't understand
Odalys Jul 19
Somewhere, But Not Today
The dating pool is feeling small, a sea that's running dry,
With half-healed hearts and ghosting games that make me roll my eyes.
I’ve seen the charm, the empty lines, the talk with no real plan—
It’s rare to find a grown-up soul wrapped in a decent man.

But still, I keep a hopeful heart, I know that love is real,
That somewhere there's a steady hand, a love that I can feel.
Not rushed, not forced, just honest eyes and someone who can stay—
My person’s out there in the world… just not in mine today.

And that's okay—'cause on my own, I’ve found a certain peace,
I take myself on dates and dance when all the noise has ceased.
I laugh out loud, I spoil me, I stretch and breathe and grow,
And every day I learn myself in ways I’ve come to know.

I’m not in need, I’m not in lack, I’m full in every way—
But still I send a prayer out to the stars in case they say:
“Your match is on their way to you, just trust the gentle pace.”
Until that day, I’ll love my life and hold my own sweet space.
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