I feel like I’ve taken drugs. I feel brand new. Everything is beautiful. I’m beautiful. Everything is connecting. I feel full of life. Words are overflowing. Thoughts are bright. I can see a future with purpose and passion. I know what I’m supposed to do! Is this what happiness feels like? A light on my face, a flame in my heart. I am ready to conquer the world. Yet something doesn’t feel right. I just can’t put my finger on it. I spin and spin and spin. Ignoring that feeling. Head up, staring at the clouds, soaking in the sunshine. I look over and see my love. He’s standing there, taking it all in, taking me in. I smile at him. He smiles back at me. A single tear rolls down my face. There’s that feeling again. This time a little stronger. “NO,” I shout, “this Will not be taken from me! I begin to dance, pirouettes, beautiful leaps, I am on fire. Nothing can take this from me! A sharp wind slices past me as I’m swirling, I stumble and fall. I look up and see that it wasn’t wind, it’s darkness cutting it’s way in. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I try to run. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I sit. Staring at the clouds again, soaking in the last bit of warmth I can. It’s inevitable. Darkness always wins. I just seem to forget it when I can see only light. I look around for my love. He’s nowhere to be found. I am alone. The darkness is moving in faster now. There’s only a sliver of light on my face. I open my mouth and swallow it. It is gone. Darkness now fully envelopes me. I curl into a ball and scream. Echoes. Silence. I close my eyes. Longing to find that light I had swallowed. Demons dance around me, shouting obscenities, telling me to **** myself….or is that my voice? I don’t know the difference anymore. Have I ever known the difference? I don’t know how long it’s been. I’m still here, lying on the floor. There’s something hitting me. I reach to hit it away. It’s a hand. I draw back and scream “LEAVE ME ALONE!”. The hand grabs mine. It pulls me up, wrapping arms around me. Someone whispers in my ear, “You’ll get through this. You always do. You are strong. I’m right here, always.” It’s my love! He found me! There we stand in the darkness and I am not alone. I was never alone.

I built a wall, unyielding, high,  
A fortress strong against the sky.  
My heart, now hardened, won’t reveal,  
The fragile cracks I choose to seal.  

A sturdy front, I hold my ground,  
Yet shadows linger all around.  
My thoughts grow dark, their weight persists,  
In emptiness, my soul exists.  

A blank facade is what they see,  
But pain inside, it rages free.  
The brighter light, the darker shade,  
In endless night, I am betrayed.  

Through days and months and years untold,  
I dwell in darkness, bitter, cold.  
Solitude, my solemn space,  
Where none can harm, where fears erase.  

Yet deep inside, I long to find,  
A spark of hope to soothe my mind.  
Until that day, I stand, conceal,  
The wounds within I cannot heal.

- Ghostcat

They say,
"Ignorance is bliss."
Do you know why that is?
You're unaware of all the things you've "missed."

Things already in existence,
Things already happened,
Things happening;
That which is existing.

All that exists.
To reduce it,
We're all learning what 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is.
Learning ignorance, decoding from it wisdom.

So what is it to be knowledgeable?
What is there that is knowledgeable?
What is knowledge?
Does intelligence exist?

what is this game
you wish to play?
what is this thing
you take away?
you want my light?
to feed your darkness
you want my love?
to feed me lies

you take everything.
and give nothing in return.

you’re nothing but a thief

thief.

In the third of the night that sent by fate
a fate never meant for me.
As you burn, I freeze,
shrouded in the blizzard of silence,
witnessing your lightning-quick decision.

Makes me stand in the heart of winter,
with void dwelling deep in my senses and breath,
I turn myself into a monument of lament and sorrow,
powerless, violated by the shadow of your touch.

Perhaps I seem calm and unshakable,
but my blood boils, giving birth to a disaster
a tornado of crimson rising in my chest,
spinning without direction, wild and untamed.

If only I had not severed these hands,
for whenever I crave to reach for you,
it would turn me into ruins of darkness,
covered in dust, with shadows nesting in the hollows of my ribcage.

Yet behind it all, a flicker still lingers.
Even if I keep severing my hands,
your warmth, your beauty will always be
the cascade of light I yearn for.
And if I rust away, this monument will stand,
a testament to your grace.

follow the light back
patterns traced on my shoulder
there’s warmth and light and goodness
enough that the darkness doesn’t have to consume you

Slowly taken away
What at some point
Felt like would be
Impossible to live without
Maybe for the best
Although that feels like a stretch
The heat of you means so much
Gives me space between time
And love to unwind when depressed
Despite confusion at times
Over the situation of our relationship
Wouldn’t trade places for anything
That would be a great waste
So as where we were withdraws
From the places once so familiar
Which are now merely nostalgia
They still hold such importance
New beginnings extend from the ending
And brings hope for reconciliation
That would be my preferred choice
Doesn’t always work like that
Sometimes relapses occur
Making you sink amidship
Crashing against the waves
As oceanic whirlpools stir wonderment
Tides drawing painterly crestfallen essences
Which create an atmosphere of resentment
Making pirates out of fishermen
Fleeting ships firing horrific elegance
Departing for lands of exploration
Returning when tired
And making amends
Slipping into old habits
Feeling an indifference within yourself
You thought things had changed
And they have

When you’d hunt me down,
Felt like I was given a crown,
My heart so much quieter,
Aching for you as proprietor.

Someone said I drown,
On your face—a frown.
You’d stand on the brink,
Our breaths in the sync,
Feeling your nearness,
Ditching the harness,
Standing there bare,
Sinking to your stare.

If you’d hunt me down...
I’d wear it like a crown.

Midnight started going by Night when she turned twenty-five. She was “letting the tides guide.” Getting her chakras aligned. Drinking smoothies. Said it was a New Moon, ‘ya know? A blank slate. A fresh canvas. Said this would make her whole.

Maybe it’ll stick. Maybe this new dawn will be the last. Only Earth knows, of course. But I heard through the grapevine that Daylight’s been saying it’s just a phase.