Being with u still not having you.

I think about finding you
I think about it every single day
And it kills me to know
That you can move on so easily
That you can find happiness
And that I will just be left in pieces
And I am crushed

Every day
I witness you
Laughing and dancing
When in reality
Nobody knows you at all
And I am crushed

Did those happy smiles
Did the brushing of our hands
Did it mean nothing to you?
I am hurt every day
I am hurt every hour
I am hurt every time
I lay eyes on you
And I am crushed

Although you have pushed me down
I fight to stand up again
For I know
It does not matter how you fall, but rather
It matters how you get back up again
Every day is a struggle
I do not enjoy things I love
And I am crushed

Crushed by the sole of your boot
As if I am nothing more than dirt
Crushed by your hands
As if I am a bothering pest
Crushed by your words
As if I deserve everything that has come my way
And I am crushed

I rise but only to fall
I stand but only to trip
I smile but only to cry
And it all comes back to you
And I am crushed

I am crushed knowing that you know me
You know all my deepest secrets
My darkest times
And still
You have abandoned me
And I am crushed

I built a prison of paper,
But I willingly let it stand.

To keep my self tethered
To these words only I can understand.

It keeps out the angels,
And keeps my demons in.

So no one can be affected,
From the enemy hidden within.

It's a fortresses built on lies,
with foundations crumbling down.

But I'm happy with being crushed,
As long as you can never frown.

wishing is dangerous..
if not for you then for me
once i wished for someone
who would save me
and one tipsy little thing
you saved me and then wanished

wishing is dangerous..
at least for me
you know why my wish came true
'cause i was saving all the wishing stars
but ohhh why i cant take my wish back

wishing is dangerous..
such a dangerous thing
but now i would wish
for someone to wish me
even if that would back fire me harsh

wishing is dangerous..
and so ******* wrong