Conflicted
Alone
Shattered
No home
Buried
Under all my own
Guilt
Screaming
Inside
Living
A lie
Crushed
Under the very walls
I built

when i turn to you
expecting your smile, i see
the back of your head.

it's too familiar
of a sight. i don't know why
i even bother.

sitting in the ash of protest,
roasting in clutching desires
nothing could I offer-
feeling so small and broken

What happened to,
"Instead I sit here,
Blushing bright red,
Letting sweet words,
Rush to my head"?
It dried.
It twisted and died,
And fell from the sky.
There are no sweet words,
When he can't meet your eyes,
And if he does,
You think you may cry,
Or throw up,
Or faint,
Because you're pushed to the brink,
And can't stand to think,
Of that thing.
The one who ruins 16 year old girls,
With promises of marriage,
And happiness,
And love,
Yet does not deliver,
Just tortures,
And twists,
Your mind to fit his,
And slowly warps your soul to his will,
And oh so surely takes morals away,
From even the most convicted ones.
That is what happened to me,
I no longer sit here,
Blushing bright red,
Now I sit in the corner,
Holding my head,
And rocking,
And crying,
And gasping for breath.
That is what happened to blushing bright red,
That's why sweet words don't rush to my head.

i spotted your face from miles away
and here you were, here in my world
but this didn't seem right
why were you here?

so i moved closer to you
and asked what you were doing here
you started talking about moving
about doing anything to live closer to me

your words rambled, but I picked up a few
mostly I just looked at you
but the next words you said
changed my life forever


"I just wanted to tell you that I love you"


I was on a cloud of happiness I'd never neared before
every part of me weakened and all I wanted was a kiss
he was my dream guy- a guy I already loved
and now he loved me too*



of course, my heart was soon crushed
when my alarm went off
I opened my eyes
and there you weren't

I'm sobbing into an empty cereal bowl of broken dreams