My young niece, she used sing in the church choir
But when she grew older she left the choir
She got her nose pierced, became a Vegan and Social Justice warrior
Now it was all about the planet and everything having to be done a certain way ...or else LoL
When she'd come to visit, she used complain
Your house Uncle it's s so cluttered, all these little nick nacks and ornaments you have and all these books
You should get rid of half this stuff, bring it all down to the charity shop
I looked at her and said, said quite mysteriously "My world... my world is not your world"
I picked up an ornament and said "This world has a lot of ugliness in it, these things remind me that there's beauty too '
I pointed at the books up on the shelves
"I can tell you why I bought every one of those books, what they meant to me
I can tell you what I was going through at the time...
And how they helped keep me sane in this... this crazy world"
Then my niece she picked up a book, it was a children's book with pictures in it
You probably won't need this one she said, it's only a kid's book
I looked at her in horror, then suddenly said real dramatic like
"Stop! Don't move!! Stay very very still!"
What's wrong ! she said a bit concerned
"That book you're holding, it's... it's God !!"
What!! she said
"There's a picture of God in that book...or the God experience, the spiritual thing
That's why I bought it"
She looked a bit lost, even afraid
I smiled at her bewilderment and continued
When I was younger I used suffer from anxiety and from ideas that made no sense to me...I was plagued
I got interested in meditation and self hypnosis various relaxation techniques
Quietening the mind, that sort of thing
I managed to train my mind to stay quiet for very long periods
It's a very hard thing to do but it is possible
One night I went to bed, I was lying there with my eyes closed when suddenly this strange feeling came over me
It was like something was happening, happening in my head, it was like there was suddenly something coming down upon me
And then... then I seen it even though my eyes they were closed
I seen...something I hadn't seen since I was a little child, an infant in my cot some thirty years before
I was...I was astonished
And I remembered... I could still remember
There were several stages in it and you'd pass from one stage into the next
I got so excited
I thought to myself "I remember this! I remember this!!!
I used to get this when I was very young"
I was so excited I only managed to get through several of the stages before I opened my eyes I pulled out of it because I was just blown away by the whole experience...at seeing it again (after all those years)
I lay there amazed at what I'd just seen"
Here I stopped and looked away rather sadly into the distance
"Unfortunately though around that time I'd also recently bought a book on Positive thinking, a bestseller, one that was very highly regarded
For some reason I can't think of now I chose to go with the Positive thinking book
Rather than to continue with my quiet mind meditation thing
Yea, I chose something from the world rather than that which I'd found within my own self...something that was wholly mine
It's something... something I've always regretted ... not continuing with my quiet mind meditation
One day a few years later I was in a bookshop browsing
I was looking in the bargain bin
And I seen that book, I was looking at the pictures
And there was this one picture that fascinated me
It reminded me of my experience that night
I had to buy it because of that".
I looked at my niece and said
"In that book there's pictures, look through the pictures, take your time
Pick out the picture which you find the most interesting, the most fascinating ...the one that seems to speak to you the most
When you've made your choice, close the book and give it back to me
But don't tell me which picture you've chosen
Then I'll open the book and I'll show you yes!, I'll show you the picture you've chosen ".
My niece said "OK" as if it were a challenge, she went away with the book, about half an hour later she came up to me
I asked her "Was there a picture that...that spoke to you, that you...you liked"
"There was...there was one yea, one that was very strange ", she answered
She handed the book back to me
I opened it and turned to the page which reminded me of my meditative experience
I turned the book around and pointing at the picture said "This is the picture you chose, isn't it"
My niece she smiled looking very surprised, as if it were some kind of trick "How did you know...how did you know I'd pick that picture"
I replied "You're young, maybe you too still have a remembrance hidden somewhere...a memory...of that special time....long ago".
Not quite true this, my niece had come down a couple of times to help me de-clutter my house, she was collecting some books, I thought next time she comes down I'll ambush ber leave out my 'God Book' and then we'd have the above conversation. Unfortunately she left home soon afterwards and went to live in her own apartment and has been so pre-occupied with her friends, I haven't hardly seen her since. She's growing up. So here I've just imagined how things might have turned out if she had come down.
