I crave for saying your name out in public
But I can't.
Why?

But,
I say it alone every night
Looking towards the ceiling
Still silently
Countless times
It sounds sweet
Every **** time!
And slowly fall asleep.

He pulled me in
Never to return again
One last look
One last touch

I'm lost without it
***

the melancholy of the moment hit me hard
like a rain check ten minutes before meeting
i've been on that road probably a thousand
times since last may
but something about the sunshine and the
slightly balmy breeze of late april
made me crave you in a way i hadn't before
i craved the way you always smelled like
essential oils and organic moisturizer
the seashells on your window frame
the creak in the floorboards in your entryway
the wind in my hair as i rode my bike to your
house, barely even able to wait long enough
for the white walk signal
i miss that
and it vanished right before my eyes
it's like every i touch falls apart
and i can't do anything to stop it
the funny things was
it started raining

want.

it's a feeling and a sense.
everyone wants something or someone.

what do i want?

i want
to hold your hand.

i want
to kiss your knuckles.

i want
to tell you how gorgeous you are.

i want
to see the crinkles at the corner of your eyes when you smile.

i want
your breath to tickle my neck ever so slightly as you rest.

i want
to run my fingers through your hair gently.

i want
to hear your wondrous laugh.

i want
your cushioned lips on my skin.

i want
your simple presence.

i want
i want
i want
i want

i want these mild thoughts to go away.

they taunt me everyday for reasons unknown.

for reasons that i'd like to know.

but i don't.

so, i'm stuck in a constant state of confusion and frustration.

i'm stuck because i never bother to tame these thoughts.

i'm stuck because i choose to wait rather than do.

it's just too mild.

too mild for my cringing heart.