The oxygen secreted from the walnut tree,
the snap-pole green beans growing
up the side of the rusty garden fence, and
bags of aluminum cans stored  in the shed
with the old cash registers from the antique store.
These are the golden frames caught and
edited onto organic film, etched into grey matter,
projected from a foggy lens onto reflective marble.

We abandoned the clubhouse because of spiders;
they took the place for themselves after a storm.
Our new abode was the patch of grass between the
walnut tree and the fence in the back corner of the yard;
shady, rough terrain from fallen walnuts, and
the grass always had a slight dew in places.
"The place where the snakes live" is what we called it
when we were sprouts; now we could catch them in both hands.

One night, the wind blew over the shed doors;
flimsy, sliding rail, aluminum thing.
We slinked in and got to play with the old adding machines,
foreign tools, jars full of door hinges, and
rusty hand-crank egg beaters.
Eventually, the roof of the shed collected so many years
of twigs, walnut husks, and foliage fallen that
tiny trees began to pop their heads up from the clutter.

Crickets underneath the gutter guards-
two types; the black singers and the
ones you have to dig for that will draw blood
if they get a hold of one of your fingers.
Sometimes, if bravery was roused and boiling,
we would drift closer to the railroad tracks
in attempts to catch yellow jackets, or even hornets.
One popped their stinger into the back of my neck.

We enter the church and immediately
have to push through two dozen sobbing Italian women
dabbing dry eyes; their tissues only show
black and multi-colored smears. Amid the echoing
“Oh my Goawd”s, they lean down and kiss my sister’s cheeks,
but even in my best black cap sleeves, I am the taboo
to my cousin Janet, a woman as barren as the stone lot
in between her husband’s restaurant and Deihl’s Autoshop.

We find an empty pew, and watch as the men
stride down the aisle, contestants
in a cultural Miss America pageant where the wrong answer
gets you whacked. Their heavy brows
sink in condolence as they hand over stacks of bills,
every hundred becoming a pity penny
for all the moments Janet lost in her luxury-life
made shiny by diamonds and cars and fur coats
which can’t be cashed in for a second chance at a family.

The men have paid for the food, the china, the band
in the corner meant to fill the space of sadness—
a reminder that we live a lavish life.
My sister shifts in her seat and as a man walks
by she touches his jacket, and gasps.
He’s a god.

i am selfishly missing you
because I know that if you were still here
you'd be dying over
and
over
and
over again with every pinch of a needle.

Bursts of illumination of tears, laying on the ground for me.
I don’t hear her voice anymore.
Young girl, I once raised so dearly, why don’t you remember me?
I taught you to walk, talked to you at night,
I was there when your mother wanted to get rid of you.
I was always the one, pushing you on to do the best,
I wanted the best for you the child I named.
I never wanted to see you go away,
but I’m praying all the time, that you are safe.
I hate how you became a sweet sacrifice,
to the selfish hearts which wanted money in their life.
I feel the tears streaming down, sweet little angel,
where are you now?
I remember when, I taught your little legs to dance,
I remember now, when you were there beside me.
Your mother, the woman who separated us,
with your sister, the liar, the accuser!
I felt my heart, grow a million times, every time I saw your smile.
I then remember the woman I grew up with,
my sweet grandmother, hold your arms,
she was mine, she was yours, we all held hands,
and now if we re-unite, it’ll only be us this time.
I feel so forgotten, I doubt you even remember my face at all.
When you next see me in the busiest place, I hope one day,
you’ll remember my name. Please remember my name,
I named you, remember my name too. Sweet child please,
can’t you see me? Please…?

Go to death
Or go to his cousin.
Tell her you are only here to visit.
Tell her your nightmare is an 8 hour minute.
Go to his cousin,
Tell her go to death.
You are only here to visit.
Im in a casket trying to mask it.
Death sits in my eyes and
I'm howling and screaming.
My devil cries sink deep down.
Dark and bold
Then the story gets old.
I will go to death and
We will visit his cousin.
Her dreams are like a windy vision.
Where I can sink ten leagues beneath.
Death is an ocean.
And when I am with her
I cannot breathe.

Helen, you are such a sweet lady, a blessing we are grateful of
You always makes us happy, you're a gift from up above
We know how much you love music but you decided something for us
Not only thinking of yourself, nothing to think, nothing to discuss

Oh, dear Helen, I remember when you were born like a fragile thing
You are so tiny yet so precious, you made us laugh, you made us sing
Those many gadgets attached to you, to your tiny and fragile frame
We did not lose hope for God saved you, Oh how we're thankful to praise his name

We are so grateful of you, Helen, you are a sweetheart to everyone
We hope your plans will materialize and everything worthy will be done
We love you so much, our dear child, we only want your happiness
In your very special moment, I wish your world will be full of bliss

Who won't be thankful of you? You are a God-fearing youth
You always speak for the good things, you always want to tell the truth
Today is your precious day, let's celebrate, let us be happy
Let us dance and be thankful,  my baby girl is now a lady!

You have a bright smile
And you live in a dark world
Life will dim your shine one day
As your age goes up
Your hope will plummet down
Into an abyss of despair
I'm not going to tell you
It will always turn out
okay in the end
Because sometimes
It won't
But I believe you're strong enough to face it all
So I'll give you three words
To cling to through the darkness and the storms
That don't get better
Since some won't
I give you the strongest three words I can offer you
So be brave little warrior
I love you

REPOST IF YOU HAVE A LITTLE WARRIOR YOU LOVE IN YOUR LIFE
Please comment I love to read them!

It’s funny
It’s strange
What things you remember
And what you don’t

If you asked me what I said to my aunt
When my grandfather died
That had upset her so much
Four years ago, I wouldn’t know what to tell you

But I’d know I felt guilty
It was probably something
About how we all knew she was playing it up
For attention

Which she was, but I still shouldn’t have said
What I did

If you asked me for a specific memory
From when I was four

I’d tell you about how
A dog bite me
And I had to get 13 stitches
And how my mom bought me soda after
Which was such a treat
Because I did such a good job sitting still
So they could sew up the wound

I’d even tell you that I bit first,
Because my grandfather thought
I’d understand his sarcasm
When he asked
“What do dogs taste like?”

(Hint: I didn’t understand,
Not at all)

It’s funny how
I can remember the time when I was 6
And I believed full heartedly in demons
And my mom came home late
So I momentarily believed
A demon had replaced her
(Thankfully, I quickly got over that delusion)

It’s funny how
I can remember making my cousin cry
When I was 14
And she was 7
By locking her in the bathroom
With the lights off
As I shouted
“****** Mary, ****** Mary, ****** Mary!”
Just to freak her out

But I can’t remember why I did
The things I have
I just remember the guilt

The guilt when I finally realized I could have
Seriously hurt the dog
And that she had been abused previously

The guilt of accusing my aunt

The waves of guilt
Crashing against me
When my cousin started sobbing

The relief of never telling mom
That I once thought a demon had
Replaced her

It seems
All I can remember about life
Are my regrets

I know what you are doing
After all you told me so..
accidentally
you told me without realizing

You advised my cousin to stay in her mess until she found her strength
You feel like this, us, is a mess, and well I guess I feel the same.

I thought that I needed you because ..
I just felt like I do.. did
but I don't need you
I mean
I did  ..I do

I love you,
But why does your love come with all this BS
Cheating, lying, fussing, fighting, crying..
You have no empathy for me
You hurt me and expect me to not complain

I know what you're doing

You are waiting on the right time
devising your plan to Leave
But the door is available for you now
You do not have to plot and scheme on a better way to hurt me,
You can leave in the morning
you can just leave in the morning. ..

Your beauty is a double
Inside and outside...
I believe you'd go through any struggle
But really,
Your traits save you the trouble

Smile as bright as the sun
A person like you?
There is none

You tell me I'm pretty
Even when I'm not ready
I really don't believe it,
Is it just out of pity?

Still,
I'm glad you're here,
Your shining optimism
And heartened words
I have never seen your kindness ever deterred