i stay up late
having conversations with the walls
and screaming your name
at the mirror
               what if i can’t get up today?
i have sleep paralysis
from overthinking our conversations
from last week
until today
              what if i don’t want to fight?
the monsters under my bed
have pulled out my memory box
and have thrown it around my room
for their own amusement
            what if the sun doesn’t shine today?
that’s okay,
it’s only monday
you still have the rest of the week
to recover
take it easy, you’ll be okay

I'd send you a text; a greeting.
You'd reply; a greeting.
We'd talk about a few things; small talk.
We'd casually flirt and enjoy; affection.
I'd revive the conversation; hopefulness.
I'd try my best to keep it flowing; eagerness.
We'd continue to an unmutual conversation; unhealthy.
You'd neglect contributing to the conversation; careless.
I'd restart the process daily; care.

But, you'd never even try to start a conversation let alone try the process I've perfected; speechless.

I don’t say I’m fine anymore; I don’t lie.
I rely instead on my dexterous deflection
of courteous concern. I have become sly;
Let’s talk about you – our shared predilection.
It is mutually beneficial – my deception.

Hi.
Hello.
You've been here a while now.
I like it here.

I think it may be time for you to go.
I like it here.

You see,
   I know you like it here
   and you see
   you're always going to be welcome here
   but you see
   it's time for you to go.

You don't see.
       You don't see that you can't kick me out.
       You don't see that you don't quite have a choice.
I do.
   This is my house.
But where's all your stuff?
I don't... I don't... Where's all my stuff?
I didn't think you needed it while I'm here
        so I took the liberty of getting rid of it for you.
        You see,
        you have me and that's all I really need right now.

Well you see,
       it's really time for you to leave now.
       I kind of,
       well,
       I kind of miss my stuff.
Nah, you really don't need it.
       Just you and me against the world.
The door is right there.
        Please leave.
Ah, but you see,
        I've locked the door and taken the key.

I think I'm good at communicating
And getting my point across
But by the time I'm done drafting and analyzing
Sometimes the point can get lost
   in my head
And I forget why I wanted to talk

You don't seem to mind though
You listen anyway
To my rambling, rambling, rambling...
Like now