img: sweat dripping down the curve of her neck, seeping through the collar of her shirt, tugging down said shirt & fanning herself, a popsicle, a wicked tongue lazily swirling around the top, a whisper & a light breeze by the ear, hot & bothered, warm, safe, loved, lusted after, all the same, cicadas crying out, hazy memories, hair messily pinned up, tiny pecks & heavy kisses, giggles, *** & cuddles, no blankets, cat & pup, iced tea, condensation dripping & pooling on a desk, sunlight streaming through the blinds, hands intertwined, soaked sheets, content smiles, bliss

We daily toil, spoil and sometimes boil
Yet it’s still not enough
We cry, mourn, **** and curse
Cause we couldn’t get enough of it
We frown, hide and tell lies
Because we think we don’t have what others think we have in abundance

Call it dollar, name it naira
Whether pounds or shillings
Yen or euro, money or gold
It’s still not and will never be enough

Everyone wants to be a millionaire
The millionaire wants to be a billionaire
The billionaire wants to be a multi billionaire
From the poorest to the richest
We are all searching
For that piece of paper and metal that is never enough

Like the ground that is never tired of feeding on us
So we daily feed on money
And still yet want more money
For we can’t get enough of this thing we love so dearly


It is never enough
And will never be enough
For it was meant never to be enough
So give what you can
Save all you can
Eat what you can
And thank God for all you have

One day God called me,
He said, “Hey let’s drive away, to this place called Life”
I said, “Sure, why not?” So, I grabbed my things and agreed to the drive
When He was outside my door, He told me “buckle up, and stay beside me.”

And so I sat on the passenger’s seat, while He drove smoothly,
Past the up and down roads of Life, moving past the avenues of memories.
God smiled brightly at me while I watched my childhood went by,
And so He told me:  

“There are no brakes to hit on this drive
And there are no breaks when it comes to life,
You’ll either take this road or that
Make sure there’s nothing missing with what you’ve packed.

See all these road bumps that you have to drive across?
I’ll help you through them, as you drive to your destination.
I will guide you all the way, with me you’ll never get lost,
I’ll be with you all the way through life; I will be your direction.”

Do peaceful moments just come of their own accord?
How much influence does stimuli have on contentment?
Cant be purely chemical.
Serotonin, cortisol, norepinephrine.
Like everything in life.....trying to find a balance with far to many variables.
An educated guess. A fun chemistry experiment, this life.
States of mind...

I, who cannot count the slap that I recieved
From the people whom I decieved
I, the person who cannot be contented
Will now address this experience as something splendid


I am a cheater in the eyes of the judgementals
As for they see me as falling leaves and petals
Someone who will never be happy
And a person who only deserve pity


You called me heartless
But I told you I loved you when I confessed
You thought everything was fake
But it is the toxic which I can't even take


I know this is a sin as for I am unfaithful
The girl whom you called an angel
Is a person who has the tail of a devil
But this is only the start of secrets which I'm about to reveal

con·tent·ment
kənˈtentmənt/
noun
a state of happiness and satisfaction.

What is this thing we call contentment? Are we really satisfied with what we have? Of who we really are? Or maybe contentment is just a delusion, an illusion that we put into our minds so we don't get to feel bad and pity ourselves for the things we lack.

Now, don't let self-doubt and all your insecurities get through you for it will be the death of you. It wouldn't **** you in an instant, it would be there lingering on your mind, telling you that you will always be insufficient, always lacking in something. Oh how I wish it was just a sudden agony that will be over in a while and it's done. But it's not. It will torment you for days, weeks, months and even years. It will make you think of all the things that you should've done or things that you need to do just so you can get rid of the thoughts that are troubling and afflicting you.


Don't you worry for these things you are feeling? It'll leave, none of these are permanent. I know, I know, it may be overused but it is the truth. How do you get rid of it you ask? I honestly have no idea for i haven't been there yet. But I know I'll get there, you'll get there, all of us will. It will be a long journey but in this journey you are going to find people surrounding you and they will make you feel enough for what you are and most importantly you will find yourself.

Just hang in there you can make it.

(j.c)