how would you know how hard it is

waiting
waiting
waiting

i just want you
only you
where are you

piles of used tissues
theres something you dont know about the issues
we all have it
so accept it
dont get away with it

who
why
when
where
how
which one should i use to ask you

never understands
all my faults
stops
bits

i’ve been telling myself that ive been good for months
i think just pushed it all down
six feet in the ground
and it’s digging itself up right now
i keep staring into the abyss
wondering what im even doing with my life
i sleep to much or not at all
school started monday and im already behind
i wake up, do my make up, and im already exhausted
i say hi to the girlfriend of the guy that im in love with
the same guy i get “reminders” of
i’m torn because he’s not C
but C is everything to me
perfectly
but right now i kinda want to be lonely
what is happening?

if hiccups mean
you’re being missed,
you must be out there
with water up your nose
and upside-down,
holding your breath,
wondering why it won’t stop.

it’s me.
my fault.
i miss you too much
and too often..
and i don’t plan on stopping.
..
you must be
hiccuping
to death by now.

i miss you
like it’s my job
like it’s rent due
like missing you
might make you show up.

it won’t.
but maybe
you’ll feel it.
just once

I cut the anchor
that keeps making me fall
and little did I know
that f
a
l
l
i
n
g

also feels like
f                     o                 in
                         l                   at                       g

It just so happens for me and you,
To live in the same universe I'm not sure we belong to.
Life's a blessing they all kept saying
In reality my heart kept praying.

The light in me is flickering,
While your presence's only triggering,
Confusion, fear, distress and anger,
Feelings two people in the same universe can't handle.

And I keep wanting to make a change
But it just so happens to make it all more strange,
Almost like a long lost curse
Spelled upon two people in the same universe.

Dancing in the spotlight
Was how I envisioned our love,
Forgetting the steps didn't feel right
So I put you above.

I let myself fall,
Just for you to have it all..
So I had to let myself think
Right step, left step,
Couldn't even get the time to blink
Let alone try to accept
That our dance was rhythmless.

Guess I could say that I got lost
Through all the steps that I was taught,
And all the promises you made
Left me wondering if our dance will slowly fade.

The trainer said "let's not give up"
But my mind would get disrupt,
And flood me all about this thinking
That our dance should just keep shrinking.

So now I come here, just to ask
Was this dance used like a mask?
Just to cover all the mess-
Should I have asked for something less ?
Would I be happier? Would it be better?
If we didn't do the dance together,
Cause I'm sitting here, and I don't know
If it's worth continuing the show..

Shattered into tiny pieces
Broken by one's heart,
Left with the sharp releases
Of feelings left alone in the dark.

My skin, it starts to burn,
Flames that barred return
Inside the walls that once kept safe
The wild love that took place.

Their silence showed the way,
They could never be the one to play
The caring lover, the long lost hope;
And leaves my confusion with no strength to cope.