I picture myself
walking into the places I used to go
people giving me sideways looks
“She’s different”
Yes—
I grew wings
and became a goddess

I only feel normal when I’m by myself, adding 1 person and out comes the stress.

I don’t feel it’s right or fair to be this way for the ones I love and care.

I replay our recent times in the front of my mind only to feel like I let them down.

I try to plan ahead pretending I can turn these self-defense mechanisms off.

My wife deserves me at my best, my love deserves to experience the same man that exists alone.

My children deserve to witness and receive an unconditional love without past grief.

My family is my rock and stone, my family that reside within our home.

My wife so strong she fills voids before they can become cracks….

Poetry, brain music, exercise, outdoors, notebooks, research, studying and good routines… a few remedies taken the most!!!

Girl, you are no puppet.
You are not made to entertain.
You are imperfect and should love it—
That you are beautifully whole—
Despite the pain.

Not in batting eyes,
Lies the truth of what a woman is.
It’s in the red she bleeds
And in the dreams her wounded heart keeps—
Aching to be perfect, yet
Unknowing, brings life to earth.

She needs no angel hair or curves refined,
Nor tall, nor petite must she be.
She is the soul that breathes life,
Not the heart that seeks validation,
For she is heaven’s whispered gift,
A light that lifts, a spirit swift.

Sun's out, the water gleams,
A vibrant lure of summer dreams.
But in the closet, hangs a dread,
A whisper from inside your head.
The bathing suit, a tiny span,
A mirror reflecting a flawed plan.
Each stretch mark, every curve and line,
Becomes a subject, far from divine.
The whispers grow, a judging choir.
Unable to do what my heart desires.

Confidence and cockiness
Two sides of the same thing
One helps us succeed
The other brings a sting

Confidence, if placed in God
Is what we really need
That can also be called faith
That God planted in us a good seed

Seeds like "ability" and "confidence"
And "determination" grow a lot
But "cockiness" is a seed from Satan
Not a seed planted by God

Cockiness is simply pride
Taken to such an extreme
That the cocky man has replaced Jesus Christ
With himself as a usurper king

We say "say it 'til you make it"
But is that what Satan wants us to think?
He knows that words are powerful
In pursuit of good or evil
So he knows they can powerfully deceive

Deceiving ourselves
Is great to the Father of Lies
Because self-deceit makes us cocky
And keeps us from acting wise

In
Summer ,  
Before the fall
Into resolve
Time has healed.

Chin up
Shoulders back
Powerful stride

YOU!
Have been found

You’re not making me unsure about me
you’re making me angry, at you
cause I love who I am and how I look
I used to blame myself
but now all I only do for doubting me
is doubting you.

L.C.