eggshell on eggshell
together we are building a fort
towards futures on teetering edges
searching for places brighter than
anything we have ever known.

i am looking at you with eyes
that have been withered by smoke,
jaded and misguided, i fear the day
i think i've found my home because
knowing is the first step to the end
of anything beautiful.

I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so bad. And I miss her. But I hurt her and I'm an idiot. Sorry. Needed to get this out. And you're the only one I feel safe telling. Night.

It feels so right,
          To love him.
And to be loved,
                  By him.

Writing poetry at 3 AM because the drugs haven't worn off and neither have you.

I miss you more than you seem to know.
......She misses you too.
We talk more often now though
Because it helps that we get it, I think.

I'm not really sure how to react to all this
You being so....lost.
I sort of got into the habit of looking at you
For directions. Because I wanted to be like you, somewhat.

You're amazing, you know that?
You're the moon and the sun and autumn and
....and all the little things that bring about large smiles.
I wish I could put it to a rhyme scheme.

She's breaking. Not as bad as she could be
But she is breaking.
I don't want to watch that. I didn't sign up for this.
I didn't want to have to watch my friends crumble.

Friends. I can't even label you two as that.
It doesn't fit.
You're so much more than that. I want. I need.
The point is, you're more than 'friends'.

You're both so ridiculously beautiful, y'know?
It's not even fair or okay because people like you don't exist.
But I'm glad you do.
It's pretty ****** that I only managed to write this now.

I shouldn't even be writing this, honestly.
I should be biding my time until you get back.
I should wait maybe two weeks before I call you both.
And then I should sit you down and explain it to your faces.

I'd probably lose some friends doing that, though.
I'm terrified of losing you guys.
Like, legitimately, panic attack worthy, terrified.
It keeps me up at night, sometimes.

Because I love you guys. Scary, right?
I'm not used to saying that and meaning it.
I love you guys.
I want to see you two for a long time.

While I'm emptying my heart, I should mention
That I wrote a lot of poetry about you two
Including this, and it saved me,  I think.
I get where you are, and I've been there. I am there.

But it'd be great if you'd stay. If you'd both stay.
I don't wanna stick around without you guys.
You're something special and amazing and addictive....
And so, so, brokenly perfect.

So yeah. I guess I just wanted to say "I Miss You"
And get all this off my chest.
Because I need you here and she needs you here
But until you can be here, I can write poetry.

Congratulations!
You have convinced me to speak first.
And though you are the winner in this game,
I feel like a winner too.

Congratulations!
You've managed to make me brave.
And though I was pushed, shoved in the general direction,
I believe I made me too.

What a wonderful celebration!
Maybe now we can be together.
I hope they were right, I hope this isn't a mistake.
How awful it would be
To think
After all this time, all that has been said
After confessions, after comfort
To think we may not ever be.

Congratulations!
The bridge will soon be crossed.
And though we may fall in the water,
I know we will not drift apart.