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lilli May 18
if
if my lungs were filled
with sand and ashes
  i would still choke out
sonnets and haikus
and tell you how much i think of you

  if there were a garden in my ribs
i would water it and care for the life within
in hopes that you would someday come in
  and brush your fingers over
the jasmine and roses and ivy and bluebells
that adorn the walls of my heart

  if my eyes were diamond crystals
opalescent shades of angel feathers
  i would tear them out and
curl fingers of silver around them
and string them around your neck
  so that they could rattle alongside
your beating pulse forever

  if my teeth were to grow too sharp
nothing but fangs that tear and snap
full of venom, leaking from my lips
  i would sew my mouth shut
and sit evermore in silence next to you
so you could never get hurt

   and if my tongue were
dead in my mouth
  i would breathe out your name
even if it never left my throat
a poem i wrote for my girlfriend when i was too scared to say “i love you.”
dead poet Feb 3
the noise never fades;
my poise takes the bait;
in the halls of liberation,
i submit to my fate.

i took a solemn vow:
to be ‘holier-than-thou’.
neither wrong, nor right,
i knew, until now.

i failed to see a cause;
the effect? - a terrible loss;
blinded by obsessions,
i never took a pause.

it’s been a while since the fall,
when i sprung to a brawl
with my virtues, unmasked -
and caved in to nightfall.

it all seems a blur;
it’s ‘bout time i concurred:
my reason to exist
shall always be a curse.
lilli Jan 5
i’m too heavy, too full
of venom and scorn
i wish i had a birds hollow bones
so i could fly above
the desolate and lovelorn

but instead i dig and
i dig and i dig and i dig
i sink into the core of the earth
and i melt into magma
to burn into ashes and return
back to where i was made

i am a hornet of an angel
with a silver knifepoint stinger
and rice paper wings
they flake and crumble
and cry and rumble

i am an insect of a woman
with grotesque snapping jaws
and two druxy hearts
staring into the window of
ephemeral eternal deflowering

so i die, i die, and i die again
my feathers are weighed
down with oil and rot
so i rip into myself
and chew on my loathing
feel free to make of this poem whatever you want
lilli Nov 2024
my blood is warm
when it spills
drip—ping
down
my
thighs
my heart longs
to speak words,
secrets of
the flesh
but instead
she just weeps
and pounds against
my ribs, her cage
and my stomach
is wet with her tears
i always have felt that i feel emotions that i will never be able to confess properly, that no one could possibly understand what i feel. it feels like hands around my neck, that thought.
Novaero Nov 2024
As I dwell within His vicinity
in search for Cleopatra's stone
His angels rise at the complexity
of the presence that dwells within

Wondering, lost in Labyrinth's embrace
I, at last, have the glimpse of hope, a distant light
As I drenched my soul in His blood to see Your face
Finally, the upper hand, I have within the fight

Inhumane, the nature that dwells within my psychology
along with tenacious entities, calibrating
as to describe the extremity of the Torturous self-tyranny
I place the pen on the table and let You do the narrating

Your grace, I can say, has spoken enough
Whispers in the dark, unseen and unheard
Strategic in battle like the argent chough
sufficient damage incurred
XI.VII.MMIII. Let us delve into a personal journey of spiritual exploration and internal conflict, exploring themes of divine intervention, self-discovery and the struggle between good and evil.
Kashi Sep 2024
Unearthing the dirt
Buried in the heart
Planting a seed
With hope and love
Waiting for it to grow
Into
And out of
It all
This poem is called Cyclical. It sums up our lives, from the most tiny moment to the universal. The beginning is the end is the beginning.
Kani Sep 2024
Really ounce by ounce
Pouring the concrete
To bridge
That needs bridging
To love
That needs loving
Why do we build bridges? To connect, reflect, perhaps to love. Bridges are a labor of love.
darklybeloved Oct 2021
I can’t speak. I am mute. The words, half-formed, stop between my heart and my lips. What was I going to say?
Mundanities. Sit and listen. Shut up. I’m listening.
What did you say?
It’s grey, but I can see in colours, so many colours. My heart beats, the warmth of my hands, my steady breaths. I am.
I’m lost in this pinwheel, this spinning circle, the inevitabilities. Round and round we go. I exist in moments. Each second the hands pass. I am silenced. I have nothing to say. Onwards we continue. March onwards. Brave soldiers, courageous warriors, forward I tell you, forward!
I’m so dizzy. Oh please, can we rest for a while.
Now I don’t know. I know nothing. I am nothing.
Falling like raindrops, broken dolls you lie on the floor. Still, your unmoving eyes remain, reflecting hollowed moons.
Watch me. Watch, watch closely.
I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say. No matter. There’s always tomorrow.
Empty as always. Take out my soul, scrape me raw. I am a husk. Crumbling, but untouched perfection. Automaton, I feel nothing.
Oh, invisible man, where are you?
We walk in circles. Monday, Monday and a thousand Mondays again.
Below lies the fiery depths of hell. Above, the unforgiving brilliance of heaven. And in between, an endless purgatory.
We are hamsters on a wheel. Waiting.
Are you listening, or not?
"Speak to me. Why do you never speak. Speak."
Inspired by T. S. Eliot's The Wasteland.
crowther Sep 2020
I can see how not many people couldn’t get it
I can see how I demand the attention but at what cost?
Uncertainty is a game for the conscious, those who are unconscious are innocent
It’s easy not knowing but then again, I crave
Of imagery, beauty, adoration
The shadow who smiles wickedly, cackles underneath
It was never that what I seek but it’s a must
Is that how we suppose to live? The shadow will do so in order to sustain
The imagery, beauty, and adoration
But at what cost you ask? Nothing
Just shame, pain, and the shadow cackles again wickedly
melancholy Jan 2020
Mama,

I'm just a little girl.

You make me happier than anything else

With the books that you read me

The smiles you give me

The warmth of your body

As I sit on your lap

My downy blonde head

Rested, listening to the heartbeat

That lulled me to sleep

In your womb.

You tell me,

"Madison,

You are my sunshine."

You're mine, too

So I bring you

Pictures I drew

Purple weeds that I picked from the yard

Smiles

Flashing love, optimism

With my crooked baby teeth.

I love you, Mama

I do.


Mama,

I'm not a little girl.

I like boys

And have opinions

And bleed

Just about every month now.

I roll my eyes

And speak my mind

And disagree.

I want to read those few books

You don't think that I'm ready to read.

I make you cry now

Almost as often as I make you laugh.

I remind you of the sharp, dangerous bits

Of your own adolescence

With all the added danger

Of my Daddy's set ways.

I'm sorry, Mama

I am.

I can only become a woman

In the ways that you teach me.

I love you, Mama

I do.


Mama,

You know I'm your girl.

I might have Daddy's face and sense of humor

But it's you and I

Talking about our respective friends

As we work in the kitchen

You on the main course

Me on dessert.

We laugh

And sing along to Courtney Love's mad howls

No matter how much everyone else winces in response.

Let me tell you a secret, Mama:

I don't want to grow up anymore.

I feel safe here

Always at home

As long as I'm with you.

I love you, Mama

I do.


Mama,

I'm still just a little girl.

It scares me to death

To see you hurt

When there's nothing I can do

To ease your pain.

Part of me wants to do

What you did for me:

Tuck you into bed

With a hug

A kiss

A ginger ale.

"Sleep tight

Night-night

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Sweet dreams

Love you

See you tomorrow."

I want to **** this ******* cancer

Eradicate it

From you

And every man, woman, and child

Who's ever fallen

Into its hideous grip.

I don't want to ever have to leave your side, Mama,

Wouldn't do it

For anything in this world.

I'm sorry

For any nasty thing

I could have ever said to you.

I'm sorry

If the stresses

Of a single moment

Or years' worth of them

Ever stole a little bit of joy

From you and I.  

I love you, Mama

I always will.


I'll do anything

If it means we can take each other's hands

And kick this thing's ***.
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