some days i mourn the death of stars,
some days i forget to mourn the dreams i massacred
both days i tell you nothing about it

somedays i mourn the death of stars,
some days i forget to mourn the dreams i massacred

both days i know i can tell no one anything about it
and i didn’t, but it seems like the end

so what if i erupted out all my infections.

riffed on and on
about these implosions that is the world inside of me
pretty words and raw sketches did not get it any lovers
lovers that only knew to love
and everything else felt so vacuous
so lacklustre

dissect me, let me be your science and god- i plead again
but i thought i am not reaching you because my words were not adept
so i made it better and i was all the more unreachable
until maybe i thought that was fine,
i will be unreachable, sad but well

will you reduce me, let me be an atom that intrigues you endlessly

so i plea
so i plea
shamelessly
i will make you coffees and teas and potions unheard of
i will let you cut into flesh of my dreams,
we will make love in a cobweb of intricately beautiful poetic delusions
but i am tired too

i wanted the world within you
i wanted the world through you
just through you
even if everything
everywhere else was as exquisite as it can be
even if it was all but dark and hollow within you

there is waves inside of me
ready to take you into my oblivious depth
with such voracious passion
i am afraid of it but i am also in love with it
because i am it
and i just wait for you
who is the all consuming dying star
that can devour all of my oceans and skies and apocalypses

will you go to war with me to love me more than i love you

stifled, i feel
because i am a storm you would forget
the wreckage i leave isn't to your taste
i was not wishing you couldn't withstand me
that was never why i came on too strong
i just wanted to sway with you in the tides
i wanted to savor you in the highs and lows
i just wanted to be your personal storm
just that although i get it, who wants a storm
but i am a storm nonetheless
and no one likes a storm that stays
when it does you find a new home
you tell the world it wrecked you

but no not words
when i said i cannot have the truffles or the waffles or dark chocolate
you broke them down and melted them
you got naked
you spread your legs and you spread it on those lips that forever seemed to conceal a pearl even you did not seem to know you should cherish
i liked that you liked it so i nibbled them clean
but i had to think about how much more insulin
i would need in the night
i wanted to know what truffles and waffles were
i wanted to lick them off your lips that quiver most
but would you get it without the sugar that can **** me
next time
that way i can die a little late and eat you endlessly

but hey i found donuts without sugar
it was sweet too
i ate it alone because who do i share
the yearning for sweet less sweet
while in a sugary decay

venus, i don't want to be your adonis nor anchises
or for you to lie that i am them
or maybe i do, why not
i just wanted to eat something sweet with you
that does not **** me

The doctor doesn't feel sorry,
and I admit neither do I.
I'm taking up a bed
for torturous threads,
and I'm trying to die,
while those in waiting
feel so much hurting.
He tells me of my liver,
News I wanted him to deliver,
This world is black and dead.
I will refuse another liver,
and my grief has not been said.
As I create and lay in my bed,
This world is purple poison
and my blades are still pouring
with enemies I have long bled.
But no joy or such happiness.
It makes me sick of who I became,
And the sickness has ruined my name,
and madness created my wicked game.

What I'll do to take away,
the last 6 months of my life.
Was I born a beast astray,
A bird without flight?
I'm sick of darkened days
the bloodied of the knife.
I wish it had been my holiday
forever a ghost to future ways.
I'm a demon to all the rife,
I'm not proud of things I say.
I can no longer even cry,
I have become one who slays.
My hands of red I don't like.

Prove whether I do change, my dear,
Or if that I do still remain
Like as I went, or far or near,
And if ye find me not the same,
Declare 't is so that all may hear.

But if ye prove I change, my dear,
Not, but unchanged I do remain
Constant and true whithersoe'er
I travel to, then, dearest, deign
T'admit it only in mine ear.