The new girl usually kept to herself,
chose to be alone,
A few would approach her but wouldn't get too far.
She did all she could to stay low key and unknown,
At least that's how it normally was from the start.

Dressed in her favorite attire of velvet, leather, burgandy and long black boots.
Secluding herself in her throne of never ending isolation at the corner of the room.

She only had one goal in mind,
one indecisive boy she was after,
So certain that he was the answer...

Longing and hoping for the hesitant boy with unclear intentions,
to realize he didn't need to fear the love she had for him, without question.

She stayed stuck, glued to her phone
Day after day,
As if her life solely depended on any interaction made.
Every moment she would replay.
He was fuel filling her heart with more than what she couldn't have ever began to imagine was real to ever possibly feel.

Even when what he gave her was nothing more than a few rare simple nothings.
She would do just about anything if it meant he would stay.

Even if it meant not telling him how she felt
In order to remain as close to him as possible in fear of being pushed away...

She loved staying in her own world,
But she couldn't stay in that world forever.
She inevitably had to return right back into reality and face what her situation was in front of her.

Afraid of her new surroundings she'd never interact,
Many people come and go as they always do,
Wondering when she could somehow ever adapt,
She realized she may have spoken too soon...

A girl with a gentle yet sad aura about her,
along with a sad pair of lifeless deadened eyes...
Only revealing that both were longing for something similar.
Just like the girl she found herself gravitating towards this time...

Hypocrite.
Bipolar.
Soul destroying.
One rule for you, another for me.
***. Kettle. Black.

The words I wish I had the courage to say when you carve away at my soul one word at a time.

Sometimes I feel like I'm so complicated
I can't even figure myself out
and other times
I feel so basic it is obvious.

Darling , you know, you know
The tears inside me burns like fire
Though I promised you not to cry
Even though you've told me to be myself
Although you don't understand how difficult things are

Though I am strong
I've walked through a thousand forests in complete darkness
And I am still standing up

I gave up everything for you

My darling, my darling, I want to hold you and stroke through your soft hair
While you stab me with the knife a thousand times in my heart
Darling, I'll do everything for you

My life is so pathetic and complicated
But I'll continue to smile on the outside
While the tears and grief eats up my insides

Darling, my lovely, darling, I'm yours forever

You stretched your arm forward
and held out your hand
I tore out my heart
gave it over and waited
for you to tear it apart

._   ._   ._  

But you took it
and placed it on your sleeve
although I hoped that maybe
you could hide it in a safe
and take care of it for me

._   ._   ._  

And so there it stays
my exposed, beating heart
you wear it on your sleeve
vulnerable  ._   ._   ._  
and you take it with you whenever you leave.

a night, one warm summer evening
strong lyrics, songs we listen to,
thinking about each other, not wanting to admit it

one touch, one kiss
a lots of alcohol, no judgment, candid talks
not wanting to change, afraid to loose it all

hard, dark, twisted life
pain and sorrow, kind smiles and honesty
fear, terror, panic attacks

us, in a little box, far away for life
warm and cozy, alone, safe
on one's own and cold, sad then tired

Your eyes meet mine
They say mine
Like an anchor burying into my cornea
A window to your heart
You’re mine; I’m yours
But
Mine means
Rewriting
Undoing
Replacing
Replanting
****, I wish the eyes could talk

I was staring at the stars,
I could see my shattered dreams,
I walk alone, a lonely path,
Making my way through all the screams.....
I have changed
I washed my sins
I regret
My whole world spins
I wanna turn back time to make things right,
To the start, where it all begins.

Going ten years back,
It was raining that whole day,
You were piercing through the crowd,
When you stumbled upon my way.....
You were in hurry
You were late
You were sprinting
Towards the closing gate
You were a transfer student, we were in the same class,
I still wonder, if our meeting was a frail fate.

I hope after all these years,
I could feel that warmth again,
Today we're meeting, can you hear the thunder?
It's raining, yes it feels like the same rain.....
I am incomplete
I've lost my beat
I'll win you back
Today's gotta be it
I finally see it, your shadow towards me it's heading,
I am determined I am calm, I see you're still beautiful you're still warm,
All these years we were apart, our lives deteriorating.....
For us both I'll make it count, I promise it'll be worth the waiting.