On the verge of suicide
Who would really care if I died
No one thats who
I just want to be through
A few might cry reflecting on there own lifes
But no tears for me, I was just a passerby
If I just disappeared would anybody notice
I'm counted among the hopeless
So very friendless
My life is meaningless
This life plays on my weakness
I am no longer fearless
I live in constant darkness
I'm sinking into the great abyss
And this tattered life I will not miss
So swallow down these pills I might
I'm really tired of this fight
The demons are gonna win this one
The voices I couldn't over come
It's to hard to fight them off alone
So the darkness has just grown
It was companionship that I craved
Don't leave any flowers on my grave

I drove you home thinking how about how much I did not want the night to end,
It was quiet, save for the ambient noise as we drove through the freeway,
I glanced over at you, your face, your thoughts,
a  mystery.
You said to me “Do you ever just listen to the silence?”
and then suddenly it was as if I was in a special place,
a special place I only knew of,
a secret chamber I retreat to,
and yet you so effortlessly walked into it,
perhaps you already knew of this place,
perhaps you already knew of the silence,
perhaps you had been there far before I had,
these thoughts raced through my  head,
I replied to you after a few seconds of reflection,
“yes, I do listen to the silence”

Incomprehensibly inebriated, I stood up
Whether I walked, stumbled, fumbled or
Even crawled; I need not know or care
I struck you my friend, my best one too
Never did I deserve such company anyway
Pity, six of the best and hardest years spent
Mostly with you by my side and I by yours
Knowing what's best for someone is hard
A two way curse I say, whilst it may be best
It mightn't be what is wanted or needed
For arguments sake, we'd squabble
In the name of fun and youth we'd dabble
To be cast aside and know you deserve it
Friend, it hurts but the damage is done

Incomprehensibly inebriated, I threw
Six of the best, hardest years away
They say boys don't cry but we did,
When they said we couldn't attend our
High school prom because we didn't
Behave or act in a way that proved we
Wanted and deserved to go, although it
Wasn't for lack of trying, I remember
Those phone calls, Those late nights
I remember the successful appeal we made
How we both attended the prom, delightful
How your date was drop dead gorgeous
How mine kind of, wasn't?
You laughed Because she wanted to sleep with me and
You could tell I wasn't keen, funny times

Now we're 20 and we don't really speak
I know it's only been three to four weeks
Since I irreversibly ****** up, it's just
It feels like a long time now, I think a lot
About how I'm not friend material because
I hurt people, emotionally and physically
I'm a lousy drunk and cynical too
I've been this way a long time, nothing new
I have problems buried down deep
Even demons too, but I fought them
With others, I fought them with you

You will never understand the contribution you have made to my life,
You are the friend that really came through for me when I found myself in strife.

No-one else could see past the mistake I had made,
They chose to ignore how I felt and fixated on my darkest shade

I have always looked up to you, you have always inspired me
You've always been the one I've looked at when deciding who I'd like to be

Please don't throw your life away,
I really count on you
I know that being here for me is something you can do
I love you, I appreciate you.
- Brianna Carter

You look up to me,
Quite literally,
But in this case you mean metaphorically
Yet similarly,
I looked up to you,
Size doesn't matter just a point of view

You are a better person than I,
As pure and beautiful as the stars and the sky
In harmony, elements defy,
The birds and the planes that roar or sigh

No matter what happens, you always come though
Shrug it off, move on, it's just what you do,
This is why I wish I were like you

Yet despite all this you look up to me?
I am blind, can't really see clearly,
But even I can tell you are a rarity
A treasure, and thus better than me
-Conor Blatchford

As you sleep tonight,
Dream of me as your prince,
Recall the lovely day we had,
And you will find real peace;

As you breath softly,
Let every breath say smoothly,
Every single letter of my name,
Then your sleep will flow nicely;

As you turn around,
Imagine the  feel of my skin on yours,
Move to touch me even more,
You will see that this isnt a loss;

As you blink and smile,
Let it be because of me,
My gentleness and love for you,
One dedicated to you eternally.

Do you know what it feels like?
To feel completely alone.

To have no one to talk to?
But yourself.

That no one cares to check up on you?
Unless they need something.

That no one wants to hang out with you?
Because their first options bail.

Do you know what it feels like?
To long for a companionship.

To feel like you're not interesting enough?
Because people lack consistency.

To reach out to people to be sociable?
But you get little to no response.

To watch other people in close friendships?
And only see what it could be like to have them on tv shows.

To stay at home and use your time trying to create?
But your heart feels heavy.

To encounter cool people then exchange connections?
And be ignored or flaked on.

To only wish that you'd meet the person who'd make it worth the wait.

Hang in there.

I feel this pain.

Can you feel  mine?

Your hair –
twilight strands of, “now'd,”
gotten longer and were so silently dreamt of last Tuesday.

Your fingers –
finally allowed, followed to weave my own,
and all that'd been prior washed away;

Dirt, gizzards and blasphemy, along with the boils from my father’s dead hands.

Your hips –
whispered 'morrow and all the jubilance expelled,
so that the same morrow's sun'd show eminence once again.

Your eyes –
said, “baby,” if only, “baby,” and, “baby, it'll be ok,”
it'll always be, “A-OK.”

So when your heart –
let me and finally to cry, appendage etched eyes,
eyes etched the night and sure, summer'd be at end,

but autumn could taste oh so much better.