things are blurry
I can't think straight
thoughts are bouncing off the walls
I'm losing my mind
make it stop
I need you here
why aren't you here
where did you go
why did you leave
when are you coming back
the thoughts are filled with you
you
you
you
I ****** up didn't I
I ****** up
I'm sorry
please come back
it's all I want
I want things to be okay again
are you okay
is the night treating you well
are you ever going to come back
why did I say that
why did I have to **** things up
I can't function without you
I'm trying not to cry
it's hard
it's hard to catch my breath
my lungs are collapsing
my throat is closing
my eyes are covered by unfallen tears
make it stop
is this what death feels like
I'd rather be dead than feel like this
I'd rather be in your arms
I'd rather things be okay
but they're not
I'm sorry
please come home
I worry about you
I worry something bad will happen
please I'm sorry
I didn't mean it
I was mad
I never should've said it
I'm gasping for air
I'm holding on
I'm a piece of nothing
a piece of ******* ****
my body is heavy
my heart is panicking
my lungs won't inflate
my mouth is wheezing
my mind is in a state of insanity
I keep writing
nothing seems to be working
you're not back yet
what if you're hurt
what if you're crying
what if I ****** up for good this time
I can't lose you
I can't contain these thoughts
I'm experiencing insanity
I keep thinking the same things
over and over again
hoping for a change
hoping you'll come home
but you won't
you won't
you won't
you won't
I miss you
I love you
I'm sorry

Shattered Bowed
Clustered broken glass
Dark shadow engulfs
Laid on the grass

Stone piece signifies
People bid goodbyes
Death Lord besieged
Now a graveyard breed

Tested through times
Committing crimes
Resting, Evil Wrath will rise
Avenging my cries

People, friends betrayed
My Wrath, My Hatred
Declared self-destructing
At times exploding

My Wrath, My Friend
My Wrath, My Hatred
My Wrath, My Enemy
My Wrath, ME!!

it rained the next three days after
the dreadful words fell from your mouth.

really wasn't up for the talk, yet you
proceeded anyway and there it was
out of nowhere that feeling I hadn't missed.

suddenly as I sat in your passenger seat where I sat just the day before
perfectly content, your words stabbed my heart.

you said you liked me so much it hurt
however you needed time to work on yourself. to me all I heard was the slamming of another door, and the noise killed.

they say when one door closes another will surely open soon.
I don't want any other door to open unless you're standing behind it.

you promised this isn't a goodbye
instead a see ya later. problem is
there's no guarantee of that. I'm
scared to death of holding onto nothing all over again.

in the mean time, the leaves will continue to fall, lovers will continue to love, and I'll stay here dazed counting the days on my fingers and toes & then all over again since I last felt at home when my lips were on yours.

please don't leave me.

I cry,
my heart tightening together,
feeling all lonely and empty.
Screaming your name,
calling for you,
but you won't come back for me.
Knowing that you never will,
I cry in agony,
Tears gushing down my wet cheeks,
Making my face glisten.
My lungs gasping for air,
My chest rising and falling rapidly.

I miss you.

In every world you unveil the memories
To remember our deepest longings,
The fortunate accident to grown old
With another soul faultless for you.
The unaccustomed feeling is pure
To disillusion the hate reality,
The empty soul is yet somewhere
Passionate enough to awaken life.
Go get it from the holy basil
Spotless enough to compromise!

Today was goodbye
It feels different this time
Before
I knew you'd be back
Now
I think you might stay away
And I'm not sure
Where that leaves us
But I'm broken
As we fought
It bruised me deep
Cut my heart
Made me weep
And now I lie here
Wishing to go back
Take away the pain
Of watching you pack
I'll see you again
Maybe not now
But this isn't the end
It was just
See you soon
Words I should've said
It's done and over now
You're my best friend
We'll be okay some how
And maybe
When we meet again
We will realize why
Neither of us is very good
At saying goodbye

your absence is a lingering sensation -
a persistent reminder that i will be waiting
forever;
for you to come back home.
where have you gone, ma?

every time i'm hungry,
i will wait in the kitchen for you.
i don't know how to cook, ma.
i always thought you'd be around to show me how.

and even though my room is *****,
i will clean it up for you.
***** and span, just the way you like it.
i will brush my fingers over my table to see
if i've left any dust
the same dust you left, ma

and even though you faded away
i found it impossible not to grip you tighter towards me;
and you slipped, ma.
when will you come home?