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M Vogel Dec 2020
Selmhem Naise
03/2016

Poetry is so much
more
than many people think it is.
It is
the place
where the battleground of light and dark
makes its  finest stand..

or most pathetic fall.


morning light
calls out to me
inside the first
breath of the day

there is clarity
the sun greeting
tired eyes from
the distant horizon

awakens reality
as clear as glass
before daydreams
and judgements

have time to pass
you will never be
so sure of what you want
than in that moment

what are you wishing
to gaze upon once
your eyes flutter open?
Kay Nov 2020
I'm all alone
Its like this world has a way of reminding me of that.
I can fill my life with people
But when I lay down to sleep
Even next to the one I love
I slip into my mind.
Disney never told me
That the knight in shining armor
Can't save me from my nightmares.
Slaying dragons?
Can't you slay my demons?
I'm not locked inside a tower
But I'm locked inside my mind.
Banging on the walls
Screaming to get out.
But you know what?
No one can hear me in there.
The screams drive me nuts
But no one else hears a thing.
You might think I'm crazy
But if you stayed for eternity
You'd go crazy too.
It's unfair of me to put that burden on someone else.
It's unfair to expect that anyone can save me from my thoughts.
It's unfair to expect anyone to understand.
I cling to people hoping that somehow if I hold tight enough
That I can bring them with me.
That the warmth of their touch
Will somehow ward off the cold, dark, endless horror.
That the screaming in my head will silence
Bc I have someone who's finally heard me.
Maybe the demons will stray if they realize I'm not alone.
They taunt me.
Like a school ground fight at the flagpole.
But maybe if someone could stand up for me.
Step into my circle and help me up.
Maybe then they would stop.
Taunting and beating and laughing.
They like to see me fail.
I can't help but think if only I wasn't a failure..
If somehow I'm the one who's supposed to save myself.
If i just stop failing for one second.
Maybe I'm my knight in shining armor.
Why didn't Disney write about that?
I guess "Save yourself" wouldn't be a very good title.
But they would've in turn saved me.
RayRay Nov 2020
My mind is in conflict
My mind is lost
I am losing sanity of choices
Not too sure what is ahead
And why do strange thoughts keep coming back.

In moments of clarity, it all looks fine and rational thinking it IS fine.

In moments of irrational and blurry imaginative state I am confuse and unsure.

I hope I can make the right ones.
I don’t want fame or riches
I just want those solid fixes
I don’t want that perfect house
I only want a way out
That everyday
Clarity
And certainty
That my thoughts aren’t me
Just because you have a bad thought that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person but it’s hard to see that when you have OCD.
preston Oct 2020
Stephan W

My beauty is resisting the worldly pull-- to
slip into lethargic un-consciousness,
in order to no longer feel the anxiety
brought about by non-response to the
primal-question's asking,

But instead is choosing to feel it all-- and in
doing so- it, is costing her everything.
Everything.
She is showing us all what true courage is about,
suffering for the greater good:
for that which is within herself
for her children
for all womankind-- and therefore, for all of man-kind also.
She is the firstfruits of the Universe's
deepest dream; that of a full restoration,
allowing herself to be cut-open, internal parts, rearranged,
heart regenerated, rebuilt through love's magical ways
her mind, being renewed through understanding,
repetition of love's true ways, washing it clean
from the shame unfairly pressed upon her
by the broken, fallen love of man

She is the new Eve-- this beautiful-one,
free from the need to re-create what love is--
she is open, believing.. her beautiful receptors-
perfectly aligned with the harmonic-tones
emanating from the garden, as she walks.

And I.. Adam, love her deeply.
There is an ache with in my side-- a reminder
of my consent of its removal
so that I would no longer have to be so alone in all this magic
and as I struggle, taking in all that is beautiful about her,
I see now that she was not produced from me,
the man

But that I was the oyster,
and she, the beautiful pearl--
the one beyond all price,
the shimmering diamond-- formed,
within this lovestrong lump of coal;

over millions, and millions of years.

I sit in awe as I watch her
she has been worth every moment
of the wait.



"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth;
for the first heaven and the first earth passed away,
and there is no longer any sea;
And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem,
coming down out of heaven from God,

made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
..and God himself will be among them.

And he will wipe away every tear from their eyes;
and there will no longer be any death;
there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain;

--the first things have passed away.”
xoxo
I hate those Voodoo mornings when I cant dig myself out of my own head a relentless quipping chirping anxiety over woulda coulda shoulda wishing I knew better wondering why I dont silent resolutions that evaporate by days end pondering the infinite insignificance of everything that is nothing paranoid that nothing is in fact everything in the doomed hands of a salvation without mercy heavy hearted in the dark waiting for light to peek through the blinds and tell me that its ok to be awake its a lie but thats ok too I guess **** it might as well make the coffee

BUT

I
love
those
hazy
baked
evenings
where
every
thought
is
clarity
or
at
least
the
perception
of
it
guiding
each
seamlessly
to
the
next
and
still
next
after
until
the
next
ardnaxela Oct 2020
You are never
clear with me
about
What it is you want.
I always have to guess.
Is this just a game to you?
Is my heart a play thing;
somewhere for you to make a mess?
Or
maybe it's a dream
meaning
It's all made up
And I should wake up.

I want to
Give you
All
Of me.
But I gotta know
You want me
I
Gotta know you
Need me
Know that
You can complete me.

I'm ready to become
Whole again

tired of


Splitting


Up
;

tired of

trying

  To

   Piece

    Back

Bits of my soul,
Fragments
S h a t t e r e d by senselessness.

blacked in sin.

I need my peace back.
I don't like to ask
But
I hate to guess
I'm wondering -
Can you be that?
And if not, just say so.
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