Euphoria takes you to places above the clouds,
Floating with the wind.
Not a ****** pleasure,
Just a visceral high.

Clarity within the mind,
The heart unrestricted in the body.
With a gentleness of child.

Euphoria floods the system deep,
Breaking past all levees of pain.
Weightlessness.

When something clicks,
you feel it.

Even if the colors don't quite match up,
the puzzle piece fits.

It's nice to know,
it really is.

*It wasn't me

I have never felt this much before.
I am enclosed in a blackened bubble,
unable to see the outside world.

I am secluded away in the darkness,
not exactly knowing where to go.
I'm just rolling, hoping I'll end somewhere good.

I must continue to repeat to myself,
do not engage... do not engage
It is much harder than expected.

To engage is to put myself back,
back to who I always believed myself to be,
back to when I changed myself to be someone I wasn't.

To ask, to tell, to hold.
I bite my lip to stop myself,
I must not say anything.

I listen, I observe, I wait.
I engaged,
there is no return.

*I am a failure

I borrow money to pay rent,
I owe them something

I receive help to fix my truck,
I owe them something

Even if it isn't physical.
My obligation is at least to give
a simple Thank You.

But

My decisions are my decisions,
My thoughts are my thoughts,
My actions are my actions.

I do not owe explanations

I simply owe, the *sufficient truth.

Decisions.
Deciding who you are,
what you're life will be.

Experimenting.
Something you are allowed to do,
to figure out who you are,

but don't drag anyone else into it.
*I am not here to be experimented with.

As the sounds of morning begin to meep,
I told her good night and went to sleep.

I realized,
the secrets of happiness aren’t too deep;
but the climb up the mountain is a little steep.

Every day I spend with you is a puzzle.
Dozens of pieces scattered around in a jumbled mess, but with you it all comes together and makes sense. The pictures we create together are unforgettable and will stay with me forever.

Winter has been long, feels good to
                       finally be able to bask
                                     in the warmth
                                                    of the
                             sun.