I gave myself a pep talk. I decided to put aside the emotions and feelings. I decided to look at it factually. Then it became clear.

That I'm your friend and it's my job to be there for you. That being there means understanding you and your life. Understanding that you won't always be available. That it means being there regardless of what's happening in your life, in my head or in my life.

That being your friend means respecting your choices even when I don't agree with them. That it means respecting your relationships. That respecting you means telling you when you're making a mistake and not judging you for your mistakes.

That being your friend means knowing you. Knowing who you are, what you are, what you want  and what you don't want. It means knowing what you need and helping you get it. With a pure heart.

That being your friend means cutting out expectations. Not expecting it back the way I gave it. Letting you give it how you know and appreciating it.

That doesn't mean I don't have feelings. It means I choose not to let them run our friendship. It means I look at it rationally.
That doesn't mean I won't express my feelings. I will.

by Arcassin Burnham

I hope you use to feel,
I hope you use to feel like I did.
But you never did,
Cause the things that I surpassed were surreal, too vivid.

Sketches and the drawings I would do would look just like you now.
Ripping pages had to do with rage, I couldn’t stop thinking of you now, now.
I just knew that my dreams weren't real when I would dream of you now ,now.
You had better things to do than to be friends with me , but I loved you now, now.

I hope you use to feel,
I hope you use to feel clarity.
But you said need,
Cause the things you use to have then , now you don't need,
Which was my love.

Life is a struggle
Armed with a bare-knuckle

Born out of ancient rubble
Collecting what chance has to offer

If you have what it takes
It rewards you with inequality -
Objective prosperity with emotional disparity

But if by chance you are misplaced
You get to see the devil’s face
Just as real as that loving gaze
You strive to see and tend to praise

Dazed by the gravity of objective reality
No matter the cost, we strive for more clarity

Bleakest drape inescapence.
Impertinent involuscence.
Stemming from a copulent.
Incongruent malocculent.

Plead among no relent.
Populate incompetent.
Unvaried fraudulence.
Clarity accomplishments.

In foggy eyes, the view reset.
Across the smoke, a sober fret.
A mind that rose from utter death.
Again to draw, refreshing breath.

when you get
over someone
with time
you see clearly
why that lover
was better left
as a memory.

One solitary walk for solidarity
gives me clarity on who I am

Independence is when my mind
lets all of my small musings run
freely before my eyes

These words are fingerprints;
A momento of the fleeting seconds
Where I overflow with emotion
Like a glass under a faucet.

True, these portraits are usually
A collection of broken mirrors,
But let me write when I am howling
At the moon in my car
As the man on the radio makes love
To his microphone
And the glow of streetlights light
The path home.
Let me write when the floors are clean,
Lemon cleaner and sunlight pouring in,
And I'm trimming the ends of flower stalks
For a vase that paints these walls of mine "home".

I am not entirely fragmented.
My ankles may weaken
And my spine my stiffen
And static might overwrite my thoughts
When the sun retires,
But against everything, I stand.

I stand.

I asked for a sign to ease my mind.
I guess you heard it.
Maybe that is why the moon is so bright
And following me everywhere I go.
You have your eye on me.

The night was warm like the tea you made
But inviting like the last hug you gave me.

Calm night for a damaged soul.
Grant me serenity,
Show me you are there.

I miss you.

Dead heavy eyes stare...
Glued to stoplights lining rain-soaked streets.
An arid tongue placed, no permanently stuck against pink flesh bone
Waiting for when everything doesn’t seem like a dream.
She thinks blinking is a way to clear her seafoam eyes,
But no matter how hard she rubs
The rain falls harder and
Clarity seems like a wish
She dropped in a puddle.