then it came to me.
i was just sitting in class and it came to me.
i felt myself flying again.
i felt your weight off of me and i could breathe again.
i'm free from you.
i'm free.
i'm not yours,
i'm never yours.
i'm taking myself back from you.
it came to me,
the chains broke and i looked at you with nothing.
i feel nothing towards you.
i'm free.
i'm free from you.
goodbye.

we’re on the side of the cliff right now
you and i
one of us is about to jump and create a forever distance between us
i used to think you would be the one leaving me on the edge of the cliff at the end
but the constant drama, bad talking and hurt that you’ve intentionally caused has not just guided me over the edge
but pushed me over the edge
I fought so hard for you
I wanted to fix things with you
But my arms are getting tired
My fingers are starting to ache
I can’t hang around for much longer
I’m exhausted
I’m ready to let go
I’m letting go.

Lately I haven't been communicating well. I'm stuck in a abyss with no one but me. It seeps down the edge of my field of vision. Engulfing me so the light can't illuminate me. I am left alone with claws and only my skin to rend. Left alone with my fangs and only my flesh to mutilate. Left alone with sharp things and dull connotation. My toxic thought process has flayed away all of the normal. All I see is what must be ripped asunder. All I feel is the joy of another's pain. All I am is what I have hidden. Step inside to see just how bad I can hurt you.

I write not for my arts sake...
I write for my hearts ache...

I write not to remind myself...
I write to re-mind myself...

And so I turned my poems
Into a hot air balloon
And held on until the clouds
Were suffocating,
Until like ants you disappeared
Into the earth.
The oxygen eventually depleted
And while choking for air
I grasped still to these words,
These fleeting moments of
Clarity,
Until darkness consumed me
At last

When the world feels
like one big maze
full of twists and turns
and mostly dead ends,
I take  time-out
to do philosophy
which clarifies
my emotions and thoughts
and progresses my mind
towards the wisdom
I need to improve my situation
to increase my joy and happiness.