I can still feel
your cheeks
pressed against mine,
your eyes locked on mine,
your heart beat as you
lay on my chest,
your hands caressing
my face,
my heart wanting to burst,
except this time
it's because
you are gone.

I think we both knew
That it was going to end
Before it began

White lights flashing
Hold on through the night
Another reason to survive

Keep her company
Lie beside her
Whisper sweet nothings

My first gulp of fresh air
Is met with a smile
Eager to find peace

I found comfort
In the feeling of being wanted
Enough to choose to live

And so you keep me company
Lie beside me...
Whisper sweet nothings

Truth spurns
Hardest when your heart is wounded  
One less reason to live

& I still find comfort
In the feeling of being wanted
Just not from you

The glistening earth motions back and forth as kisses from poison weeds graze fingernails
coated underneath sickly green as skin is scraped and bleeding
Broken syllables of a name once far forgotten tattooed above a heart
as spider claws trace the outline of pectorals
Straight hairs and lambs curls intertwine in a lonesome tango beneath ghostly cotton waves
Creaking creaking the ship of seas can take no more of her weeping aching sighs
salted waters take over and dribble from the openings of life and hatred
Trophy wife,
token gain
What is that smell on your shirt?
What’s the name you say as I take you in my warmth? As I absorb your anger of the world?
What’s that name?

I wonder if I crossed your mind,
I wonder if I ever. Even for a second. Appeared in your mind.

As you stumbled to a car, cold night.
Not for long.

I wonder if you looked at him the way you looked at me, I wonder if he did everything that I couldn’t. Touched you the way I never did.

I wonder if the warmth in your chest was so full it snatched the feeling out of mine.

I wonder if either of you could feel me in the air,
Hands shaking
Head splitting
Wrists bleeding
Chest caving

I wonder if as you fell asleep that night with him.
I wonder if you could feel the drugs in my blood,
As our eyes close.
Hoping for a black tomorrow.

I wonder if we both felt nothing
I wonder if we both felt everything

My heart breaks a little bit
Each time I talk to you
Yet still I reach out
As if one day you'll be
Back to that person I knew before
Not that who you are is bad
I just know it's my fault you changed
I stole pieces of you so often
Those days I couldn't handle the currents
I used you to stay afloat
As I dragged you into my darkest waters
I was so immature and so afraid
That I abandoned you as I swam away
I couldn't sit with the discomfort
Of watching you fall into your own storm
So I didn't take the time to help you
Find your way back home
Before I found a new buoy to save myself
And left you to drown on your own