I loved you
every single day
especially those nights
you ******
other men
You're better than me
but you kept coming
back for more

I can't believe i'm actually thinkin bout leaving you. There's not alot i'm afraid of but that's some **** i'm unprepaired to do. I never thought i could see and end where i'm not right next to you but i've cheated yet again and so i think i've ended up ending up without and end with you. I'm a fool. I never should have fell for you. I hurt the ones i love so never will i lay sight to you. I'm sorry for all the things i've done i never ment them hurt to do . You're still my little baby girl even if you hate me please don't hurt yourself. All that i want is to see that smile on your face but there's things that i can't give you so it's best if i put some space. Ain't no way i'll say this to your face. It'd **** me if i was in your place so imagine how it feels to be the one that was suppossed to be your protector b! You were my ****** family! You built the walls of this house all around of me! I never ment to hurt you but thats all that i can seem to do so later i'll take a shot or two and let the pistol wring a few until my skull's split into two and maybe then i'll forgive myself for who i became. My ******* fall to fame.

I am no saint but I'm not the only sinner

This.
This is not healthy.
What I feel is not okay.
And yet I still feel this way.
It's not even like I'm unaware of it -
I still have the scars from the last time.
You ruined my life and I hate you for that.
And yet I still feel this way.
Every time I see you the butterflies awaken.
I know it's not a sick feeling -
I wish it was.
I wish I didn't still care.
'Just friends', I always say.
Who am I trying to convince?
I tell myself:
"I don't care."
"I don't care."
"I don't care."
And yet I still feel this way.
I don't want to.
The scars that linger seem to fly away when you're around.
How can one so young be so dominated?
I don't know...
And yet I still feel this way.

My dresser drawer still smells like you.
That's why I always keep it closed.
I do not remember what you smell like,
I also don't remember what the hell is in that drawer.
That's close to meaningless considering
I somehow still remember your birthday,
and your middle name,
and the way you like your noodles cooked.
I hate that I have such a great memory
and I love when I forget,
because I worry you forget that I existed.
Like a bad dream you once had,
you've grown out of it.
I've grown out of you,
and maybe I've grown out of the shirt of yours
still sitting in that drawer.
I guess I do remember what's in that drawer.
I hate that I remember,
but love that I forgot
the way you smell,
because smelling is tasting,
and I could not bear to taste you once again.
The aftertaste of regret still lingers
when I hear her name.
I wonder if she tastes like me.
Like me,
the me I couldn't be.

I scratch a couple of lines
on a old notebook cover
about a beautiful girl
and her soon jilted lover

He stays out so late
til the break of dawn
the jumps into bed
with his britches on

he smells like beer
and farts in the air
pulls the covers over his head
like he doesn't care

his phone is open
a new ******* speed dial
she finally caught him
and starts to smile

she packs his bag
as he snores away
he has to go
he can not stay

grabbing him by the ankle
she pulls him to the floor
tells him to get out
holding open the door

he stumbles out
into the grass
"STAY OUT" she yells
"YOUR'E SUCH AN ***"

he takes off quickly
in his fancy car
got nowhere to go
he heads to the bar

he tries to call her
she's done with him
his chances with her
are rather slim

he made his bed
it's where he'll lay
that's what happens
when you try to play

Go ahead,
push me up against the wall
and whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
tell me all the things she wanted to hear.
Put your hands around my neck,
slam me down on our bed,
put me in the same position you put her.
Go ahead,
hurt me more than you already have.

I was never good enough for you, was I?
Don't even try to form a lie,
because if I was good enough,
you wouldn't have gone to her.
Or maybe the problem isn't me, it's you.
Maybe you just can't be satisfied?
Why are you getting so defensive?
Did I hit a nerve?
Oh, you're getting angry now,
but I fail to understand why.
If I could've contained my anger when I walked in
and saw you in our bed with her,
I'm sure you can contain yours.
I'm simply stating facts,
the truth hurts, doesn't it?

I've never wanted to hurt you,
but you've set out to hurt me.
I've forgiven you a million and one times,
yet you just slap me in the face afterwards.

How was she?
Was she good?
Was she better?
Was she worth it?

I hope she was,
because if she wasn't,
she just caused you to lose the one person who
was always there for you.
You've hurt me too many times now,
I'm done. //

           05.26.16
                 -          Poet
                             (db)

is that all u care about now?
yourself?
because by the path of broken hearts and tear filled eyes you left behind its starting to seem that way
do you still care about him?
or is your medication drowning you in sin?
what the hell were you thinking, you could just throw people away once you get bored?
are you blind to see?
or are you running from responsibility?
God knows what the hell you keep thinking
why did you leave an something with potential for a diamond?
were you just not patient enough to wait?
or was it because all you care about is yourself
and that cheating ******* money?

Boy, the word "i love you" has become so common in your mouth that it already grew molds of lies and uncertainties.

You play with feelings with your matchsticks in hand.
tell me, why do you keep on playing with fire—constantly burning another heart's desire?

Ashes after ashes of your burnt relationships,
you jump into another loveship with your matchsticks still in keep.
Aren't you wondering, is love really what you seek?

Cause if you are,
then no, it isn't.
My grandmother once told me,
you don't just build then burn bridges with no intent.