i live with four other cats,
but my favorite cat is different.
she’s the strangest cat i’ve ever known.

she’s bigger than me,
louder,
her fur is patchy and soft only in places,
and she walks on just two legs. like a trick.

she opens portals that lead to other worlds (she calls them “rooms”),
and she always locks me out.
i yell for her each time, she always forgets to let me in.

she cries more than any cat i know.
i never know why.
i press my head into hers,
knead the soft of her belly,
purr into the silence until it stops shaking.

she stares into the bright rectangle for hours,
meowing in a voice i don’t understand.
it’s quiet, and broken, sometimes loud,
like a song in another language.

she curls into the same corner every day,
her spot,
and when she forgets how to move,
i lay beside her like gravity.
i keep her warm.
i keep her here.

her fur is strange.
no stripes, no fluff,
just pale skin that pinks when she’s sad,
or angry,
or too full of feeling.
not like mine,
grey and white and made for softness.

sometimes she shakes when the house is quiet.
sometimes she forgets to feed herself,
but she always feeds me.
she always pets me,
even when her eyes look like storms.

she talks a lot,
a lot of the time to me  ..i don't understand her though.
at times she looks at walls and says things to the air,
like she’s hoping it’ll talk back.

she smells like salt and sleep and sadness
and sometimes i curl around her head
like maybe i can catch the nightmares before she does.

sometimes she disappears behind the big door
and i wait at it all day
and when she comes back,
i scold her with my tail.
but she never learns.

my favorite cat is tired.
she says it without saying it.
she breathes like the world is heavy.
she laughs like she forgot how.
but she still scratches behind my ears.
she still tells me i’m a good boy.

i don’t understand her.
i don’t think she understands me either.

but when she cries, i come running.
when she hides under blankets, i follow.
when she forgets herself, i remind her.
that she is loved.
that she is mine.
that she is my favorite cat.

and that i will stay.
<3

Bob you found your way to James
who took you in
and cared for you.
You were two souls who were lost
that needed to meet  so you could
shape your future together.
You helped one another
through the storm
and found your way to the rainbow.
Your story is an inspiration
- a tonic in these troubled times,
living proof that resilience is common
across all species combined
and, when you hit your lowest note,
the only thing to do
is aim high,
because sometimes,
we need to be in the dark
before we can appreciate
the light.