Poetry is like gusts of fresh air
Harbinger of the soul’s catharsis
Flowing emotions through the pen
Concealed pain written across the pages
Healing the pain which was long buried

"Changes"
Metamorphosis.
This is my epiphany,
To old self bid gone.

"Honoring"
The servant-hearted,
Selfless and genuine soul,
Sheer blessing to us.

"Unconditional"
The Almighty God
Loved me for all that I am,
A love so ardent.

"Levanther"
Such comforting wind
Sweeping off between my hair;
Here goes the chimes ring.

"Syllogism"
Great continuum,
Why such distance imposed
That wall between us?

"Cantor"
Oh that lone guitar,
Let me caress such old strings
And I'll sing sweet songs.

"Maktub"
The wheel of fate turns,
Made me search off the cosmos,
All leading to you.

So, I started listening to Johnny Cash,
And yes, it hurt, why do we feed our pain with music?
Why do we do that? It isn't enough to just feel pain,
We have to feeeeeed it,
Bit of Jeff Buckley, no Hallelujah moment for me though,
Just salt tears and - hello (is there anybody in there?)
I've found my way to Floyd,
I wish I was ******* numb,
I haven't been comfortable for a long, long time.
Welcome, Radiohead, because I need to know that I'm a creep,
I really need to wallow in my weirdness.
Hell, let's have some Smashing Pumpkins while we're at it,
I'm ready for some Billy Corgan angsty rants.
Yes I'm your zero, The world is a ******* vampire and
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
You tell 'em Billy, hey, let's move on to Nine Inch Nails
Because there's something I can never have
My whole existence is flawed.

I miss you more than you seem to know.
......She misses you too.
We talk more often now though
Because it helps that we get it, I think.

I'm not really sure how to react to all this
You being so....lost.
I sort of got into the habit of looking at you
For directions. Because I wanted to be like you, somewhat.

You're amazing, you know that?
You're the moon and the sun and autumn and
....and all the little things that bring about large smiles.
I wish I could put it to a rhyme scheme.

She's breaking. Not as bad as she could be
But she is breaking.
I don't want to watch that. I didn't sign up for this.
I didn't want to have to watch my friends crumble.

Friends. I can't even label you two as that.
It doesn't fit.
You're so much more than that. I want. I need.
The point is, you're more than 'friends'.

You're both so ridiculously beautiful, y'know?
It's not even fair or okay because people like you don't exist.
But I'm glad you do.
It's pretty ****** that I only managed to write this now.

I shouldn't even be writing this, honestly.
I should be biding my time until you get back.
I should wait maybe two weeks before I call you both.
And then I should sit you down and explain it to your faces.

I'd probably lose some friends doing that, though.
I'm terrified of losing you guys.
Like, legitimately, panic attack worthy, terrified.
It keeps me up at night, sometimes.

Because I love you guys. Scary, right?
I'm not used to saying that and meaning it.
I love you guys.
I want to see you two for a long time.

While I'm emptying my heart, I should mention
That I wrote a lot of poetry about you two
Including this, and it saved me,  I think.
I get where you are, and I've been there. I am there.

But it'd be great if you'd stay. If you'd both stay.
I don't wanna stick around without you guys.
You're something special and amazing and addictive....
And so, so, brokenly perfect.

So yeah. I guess I just wanted to say "I Miss You"
And get all this off my chest.
Because I need you here and she needs you here
But until you can be here, I can write poetry.

The build-up is slow.
Repress the emotion, the expression of feeling.
Catch the tears before they fall, and
Break the grief with your forced smile.
The fall is unexpected.
Once the tears well over the dam,
Once the frustration boils over,
Once you cannot weep in silence anymore.
The catharsis is quick.
The screams come all at once.
Cheeks are wet with rivers of sadness,
Forced smiles are shattered by frowns.
The aftermath is painful.
Looking around to see who remains;
Who hasn't left me?
Who hasn't been scared away?
The realization is shocking.
Those whom I've trusted most,
Those whom I've loved most,
Have shied away, saving themselves.
But the end, the end is striking, renewing:
You pick me back up,
You put me back together,
And I remember how to love again.