you lost someone real.
you lost a genuine, good friend
who would've done anything
to make you happy.

I only lost someone
who never gave a ****
about me or my happiness.

think about this
and then tell me again
who was truly hurt by
the end of our friendship.

we both may have hurt,
but you're the only one
who lost something here.

I won.

For years, I was always there,
Under any conditions, always supportive,
Caring, always sharing,
Keeping you safe, in times of fear,
Your only true friend,
Opening my home, if you needed to rest,
Understanding your problems,
Believing your stories,
Interested, in your ideas & plans,
Teaching you how to carry on,
Celebrating the good times,
Holding you in my arms, when you needed a hug.


                                                                       Tom Maxwell ©
                                                                                                9/27/2019 AD
                                                                                                   12/35/19 am

Though I love you, and I did,
I returned once more to the orchard.
Home seemed so far away,
Clasped in the hands of another.

Every dish washed another breath drawn,
The slick ribbons against the trees.
My love, my wonder, at my side.
Again, my demons embrace me.

Again did I stop outside of my haven,
Praying to a malevolent, unloving light.
Is it wrong to be so human, my doubts,
How could a grey sky be alright?

Why live if living is wrong,
If each whine should be a cry?
My bed felt more like teeth then,
Gnawing at me from each side.

The flowers bloomed under a night sky,
Adorned with all the things I should’ve confessed.
Once again I find myself in that time,
Yet with you I think only of what I’ve repressed.

Like the choir in heaven,
Like the death of my eleven,
Like the many who have tragically died.
There’s a devil over yonder,
And she’s getting a little closer,
And what’s the point,
If it’s not played,
In blue?

And the trees outside keep dying,
My shattered windows keep lying,
I keep myself alive like god sleeping on the seventh.
Stray cat, come back home.
You’ll step on glass if you roam.
God, what’s the point,
If I’m not there,
With you?

I’ve told you many times I think I am an angel on earth to you,
I always come to your aid get you back on your way and never hear a word, till you have another deed for me to do.

I’ve been your excuse countless of time’s, anyone else would hate you forever, but I always forgive in an instant it’s behind.

Over the years I couldn’t begin to count the hours and days, spent to keep your life rolling, often without no appreciation and never no pay.

You know the mind connection we have between us gets stronger all of the time, you often give me that funny face, when I say what you’re thinking without no clue or sign.

Whenever you ask, I always have handy exactly what you need, and often positive advice on what problems your future will see.

Whenever your life is fun and everything is going great, I never hear from you till a fence blocks your road, and I’m always there to show you the gate.

So many times, I know your intentions and thoughts are wrong, even when I show you the truth you never bow, because your pride is too strong.

You have even taken credit for ideas that from me you found, I must be an angel in life for you, I always here when your life turns around.

Tom Maxwell copyright

I got mad at you
for not remembering my birthday
though your head was full of thoughts
of bills and bitter family issues
and I knew

Half-way through
I realised I wasn't angry
and I stopped talking
because I wasn't mad at you
I was mad at myself
Jealousy was tearing my mind to pieces
and was yelling at me "He never forgets her"
"Guess you aren't that important"
"Finally, you notice how little time
you spend on his mind"
And I got silent
even though I knew
you would worry that I was mad
and i knew

Today you brought me pastries
and made me blow out candles
made me feel loved
happy
not so much alone
But then again
I knew
how you care
how you love
how you're there
even when you aren't

And I knew then
and I know now
that I am happy
just being your friend