Impatient fosters stand,

    Awaiting for their boy turned man.
Their face an oasis of emotion,

His the same-
      Simply gilded in rock facade, no notion.


Implanted in societal grasp,
      No care today, could barely rasp.

Thoughtful vernacular struck me quite,
      Made me realize,
What I'm doing is right.

I am nowhere near
My desired career;
I feel like I have
My thumb up my rear!

Lost today between what I want to achieve and how I want to be perceived and work is a never-ending pattern of habits and shortcuts. No more a liar than a way towards success. Swimming in a school of fish in a constant workflow towards uninspiring goals and dreams outside of missed opportunities and hopes. Dashed away with the barely visible snowflakes unable to stick to the ground beneath my boots. Boots that track a familiar path down too long a commute in a city I only meant to pass through. In my bed, I keep thoughts that never make it out of the room on loop, constantly playing it like a well-worn cassette tape.
Before drifting off, I think one day, maybe one day.

I’m just trying to get through the day
Trying to find the right words to say
To keep my luck from going south
To keep my feet out of my mouth
To find the right games to play.
Nobody to play with anyway.
Hoping for a brighter day,
Just trying to get through today.

Some of the people around me
Sometimes seem to surround me
Even when I don’t call them to me
It can make me a bit gloomy.
It’s not like they’re my college roomy.
So they often even astound me.
I wonder how they found me.
I don’t like them close to me.

I try to keep my nose to the wheel
My **** in my seat, but maybe I feel
A bit under the management’s thumb;
That it’s better to act rather dumb
Than call attention to my non-zeal
And disbelief that this is all real.
I mean, I push the stone uphill daily.
Is it meant that I accomplish it gaily?

After all, I’m not saving lives here.
I’m just packaging a lot of beer,
Or counting busy streams of cases,
Along with others without faces.
Our job is just exactly that kind;
It is meant to be a mindless grind.
It’s not meant to be any fun.
It is just that which must be done.

So tote that barge, lift your weary ****.
I know to keep my big mouth shut.
Don’t compare notes, especially about pay
Or they let you go at the end of the day.
That’s who I am, a regular working slob.
Count my blessings I even have a job.

We are the Failure, Cowards and Conditioned Leaders,
We face the future with warm courage and high hope.
We don't want to wake up and face the music,
as we keep sticking with old and precious values,
For we are the destroyer of homes,
homes for a future that we can't seem to get our hands on,
homes where living will be the expression of everything,
but like that is good and fair,
this shan't be that,
how we hope, future homes hold,
truth and love and security and faith will be realities,
but like all dreams,
we wake and see its not a reality,
We are the Failure, Cowards and Conditioned Leaders,
as we face the future with warm courage and high hope.
for nothing good will come from our race.

Left you in a hurry,
I couldn’t even kiss you.
I couldn’t even say…
‘Love you, ma’.
I left you alone,
And now, I stand alone.
I am living my life,
But I don’t have you.
Miss all the memories.
The warmth in your lap,
The way you cared for me all nights.
You gave me everything,
But I gave you none.
I couldn’t even say…
‘Love you, ma’.

Y'all ever feel hopeless sometimes
You're around so many people who don't believe in you
Can't see far enough to your dreams
Don't believe in your words or could understand it?
Y'all ever feel alone in a room full of people and feel better alone.
Sometimes I'm ready to go but I can't go just yet
If you're reading this, your reading how I've been feeling lately.
I haven't been writing because I feel uneasy, its just so hard to live your life pleasing others, and its very hard to express it
Anybody who's out there living for others, STOP NOW! And live for yourself