I guess if it was just about *** for you,
You would have ****** me and
Left, right?
And the fact that you
Didn't do that.
And that you
Called me back late at night
To sign up for abstaining
From something we both
Really like means
Something
About the way you feel about me?
I have a feeling it does,
Considering the way,
You kissed me before you left
The other night
And turned from the door
To tell me to look right at me and
Tell me that you
Loved me
And that you
Hoped I believed you
-How are you feeling now, about this?
(no reply)
Another thing
is when you told me that you warned me that
feelings might fade
while I’m away, which
is 2,875 miles and for 71 days
which is
a long time and far far away
another is when
you said quite
matterfactly
that what with the way you felt now
that wasn’t an issue
anymore
-How are you feeling now, about that?
(no reply)
Even if it happens
that's ok
all I can say is “ok ” and continue on with my life
so the stakes aren’t so high as they feel
in the bottom of my stomach pointing up
to puncture if I exhale deeply
so it’s ok,
for that to happen
it’s ok
for you to fall in love while I’m away,
in a way
it would be a little like a
premature death,
plenty unfair and filled with sadness
but also with the
relief
of absence, of the weight of the potential of
something newborn,
lifted.
you don't have to care for
you don't have to raise a
dead baby.
How are you going to feel about (this) (that) me?
(no reply)
I wrote this for and read this to a boy who had a baby when he was 16 and she died of sids at 4 months. I'm a baaad baaad person
