you were set as stars in a night,
relentless, tangled, act of own
will. i was a juxtaposition
   of fear & current,
     a different
       only slight
           but
       enough to
     wash out
   what i
lacked
sight to see.
it was ridges extending out eternal
we were only possible & not more
but knowledge imparts little
& what i know now does not
save my lost soul then. it
has all fallen oh what am i
to do?

-

lost dawn on the incoming front &
saw its orange-bitter glow fall under
the cloudbank. & wondered what next
i'd lose, besides sleep, chance, and
sanctity of mind. i had my ideas,
but no will or means to rectify.
(through foxton). someone walks into an
already-lit dairy. coughs in the centre,
driver ain't let go of the wheel;
last two toes to right gone real
sleep, maybe to make up for me.
gleams in the gutter, sky makes
new stars at day. i do not suspect
anything but my own victory &
demise. but in which order?

-

you were a long-run hedgerow enclosing
the horizon, day i first saw your
face. some times you wish moments had
a repeat or rewind facility, but that
case did. so i learnt the first few
words of your language & liked the
way it rolled off tongue. truth was, i got
pretty **** down within the other
corridors of my days. truth is, i was dust flung
off the land in a storm. i was
unsalvageable scrap. but i started
learning all scrap is useful, once you
figure it out. the dust was settling, the
rust was sloughing. & i met you.
and i found out who i'd like to
make of myself, finally. make it right.
maybe stay happy, for not only
myself, but to align with
the set of prime ideals i found in your
love of life. & i've a lot left to learn,
but, of course, i wanna learn it all.

-

found somethin' that felt right for the
first in a back-catalogue of long times. felt
like destiny, though it's not something i ever
believed in. and, even in this chaotic sea
of random windblown chance, i did find
something and felt as though you might
actually feel the same.
and it terrifies me that it may
be taken away before either of us get
a break. taken by tides in which either
of us has next-to-no say, and i'm afraid if
sometimes dreams are just that and life is
real and furthermore is destined (not that i
believe, but not every god-fearin' man is a
theist) to be painful.
'cause i don't want anyone to hurt, though
i know you're brave enough to stand it. is
it so selfish to crave a world in which
pain is only part & parcel of a bygone era?
where suffering is just a dictionary entry?
where i could hold your hand
just a short while?

Do you ever wish

The bus ride would never
end,

So you could continue 

To stare blankly 

At the boring

Bland

Scenery passing by

On the other side

Of the horrid
scratched up

window

And not have to deal

With all the ******

Depressing

Empty

Thoughts 
in your mind

That contemplate 

Everything 
and
Nothing

All
at
once
?

Because,

Right now
,
I certainly don’t
want this
 boring 

Quiet bus ride
to end.

It’s much
better
than
the 

Noisy

Tedious 

Thoughts
that
keep

flitting
through
my brain.