And I'll run until I can't remember
the weight of your hands on my hips
until I can smell your shampoo
and not wish to run my hands through your hair.

I'll run until I forget
what it was like to stand still and be held
so close to your beating heart.
Until that afternoon
where I was pinned underneath you
fades completely from my memory.

Yes, I'll run and scream and fight
until I can walk beside you
without a heart of lead carving ruts in my wake
without casting glances
and admiring your beauty.
I will rage and burn
until I can see a bougainvillea
without immediately hearing your voice;
your careful singing in my shower,
your laugh, your low, stolen whispers.

And I'll keep weeping and wishing
that there were no kisses to forget,
no notes to burn or keep,
no flowers that crumble in my grasp,
no shirts that smell like you,
no jigsaw hollows where you still fit perfectly.
Wondering how long it will be
before the songs don't make me think of you
before the kitchen is just the kitchen
and my bedroom is just a bedroom.
                               before I fulfill your wish
                               and we are just friends again.

Friends who once snuck off,
held hands,
talked at midnight,
shared a bed (albeit only once)
shared favorite memories,
played guitar in the dark,
laughed at their own shy ways,
almost kissed,
almost became more.

Almost made it.

I will grind myself to dust,
if only it makes it easy to swallow
the bitter break of a first love,
a stolen heart, returned only to shatter
in my grasp. We hugged quickly, spun apart
when all I wanted is to cry and hold you
the way a dying man clings to the lifeboat.

Incineration of the mind,
Quenching the white coals
Of the overheated fuel.

Gazing into this furnace,
Which radiates more
Than the distant sun.

Inflammation on touch,
Festering blisters crowd
My already damaged hand.

Before contact is made,
The hand will reel away.
Only the foolish dive in,
Because the water
Is not fine.

there is an ominous sense of portent
in the air
in the orange glow of the sun
in the dry heat
in the smoke in the air

for others it was far worse
in hellish bush fire infernos
seeing their homes and all familiarity
converted to ash
alone with nothing but tears

a natural disaster
born of
unnatural plundering of earth resources
the consequence of consumerism without restraint
and a soothsaying denying bogan Shrek of a PM
pretending to care just to save his political neck
go back to kirribilli ya ****
there’s no votes for you here

suddenly the consequences of she'll be right
we'll vote for relatable people who will take care of jobs
are outed as people who have no long term idea
but the're own short term political survival
and are culpable for the hell around us now

suddenly the offence we have inflicted on nature
is showing us the kick back
and the arrogance of thinking we were in control
is being torched by an angry mother
who doesn't love us for what we've done
we were deluded to think we had any control
now surrounded by bush fires that are out of control

portending a time for humility
and acceptance that we are not needed

Dreams now supine
Rotting into fantasies
Oblivious to the schism
Preferences decided
By an algorithm
The scorching sun
This burning pyre
What more will it take
To set yourself on fire
Killing your instinct
Shaming is taming
****** oozing
You were born to be
A statutory warning
An inherent cast out.
The fuse is in your hands
Don’t you dare fizzle out.
You feel it
You repress it
A dynamite
Convinced it’s a firecracker.
Time to smell the gunpowder
Clickity click.
Trembles the wicker
To dust off the ashes
You must
Burn down the empire.
Proceed with no caution

Set yourself on fire.

Have you ever found yourself
In a burning room
Walls marbled by the heat
Eyes stinging
Lungs shrivelling
Full of a fear
You never thought you’d know
And will you move
Crash out a window
Down onto
The dewy grass
Surrounded by shards
Of broken glass
Staring at the sky
With overcast eyes
As the sirens draw nearer
Until the police come
Or will you stay
Will they be too late
As flames lick up your skin
Will they find a body
The body you left behind
When you looked at all your choices
And decided to die