It's so easy for my friends to say that I should hate you.
The only reasons coming to their minds are
because you hurt me
because you lied
because you left

You've never hit me or beat me. But your words sure do have a right hook that has left more bruises than any hands could. The colors purple and blue have made a permanent home on my body. But no one ever saw them because they weren't visible to the naked eye. You knew they were there though, you knew and you kept hurting me

You said i love you like flipping on a light switch. It was something convenient for yourself and you knew how it turned me on. If only i had known you were lying.

I placed my heart in your hands thinking it was safe. But i what didn't know was that the reason they were so warm was because they were already a home to someone else. I didn't know. So i placed it neatly against your calloused palms and kissed it goodbye. It should have been safe with you. But i wasn't entirely worried until i saw you turn and run for the nearest exit. And i didn't break down until i saw who was waiting for you behind the door. You two took my heart like you'd struck gold; you never looked back.

They say i should hate you,
for hundreds of reasons.
But the twisted thing is, i've only ever come up with thousands explaining why i should still love you.

i think you traumatized me black and blue
black and blue
black and blue
all of the bruises
they are free from my skin
but not from my head
you traumatized me
black and blue
black and blue

you can hate me for all that i am worth
(which is nothing at all)
i can't believe how you sat there and just watched me choke
(all over your spiteful words)
and then when it was all over you would take my hand
(i'm sorry, i love you, i promise it won't happen again)
and a week later here i was, begging you to see the damaging effects of your blows
(but you made me so mad, quit making me so mad and i won't do this again)
how many countless nights did i fall asleep with a bruise on my cheek
(it's a new morning, i love you, i love you, i'm sorry for last night)
why did i find myself still loving you? love should not hurt, but
(i love hurting you, more than i actually love you)
and here we went, here we go, i'm at the mercy of your first, just please don't go

but i ******* want to go

my skin is turning purple
due to your absence
you can't see the bruises you left on my skin
you are not who I expected you to be but it is who you have always been
I assumed you were kind by the way you looked at me
the way you touched my pale skin
I convinced myself that I deserved the love you provided for me
but I'm lying to myself because you are a sin
you never cared or loved for me
It was all an act
I could tell when we first kissed
the kiss we shared was not true because you weren't even there
your mind was pondering about her
I loved you but you loved your ex lover
I gave you my all and it wasn't enough to make you want me
so I'm begging you please
let go and accept me
~ a.h.

There is nothing romantic about falling  down stairs
Tumbling down granite steps, clothed in a light cotton dress and laughter

There is nothing graceful about falling in love
Stammering out firecracker words, armed with bullet powder breath and suspicion

I tripped into love with you

Rolling down, unsure of what bruises I would walk away with, prescribing each second with a dose of eternity

You have not strolled away yet with your flowing swagger, just as I have not waddled off with my tangled stride

Instead, we are both grasping for a rail to break our fall,
or rather to delay the crash on the base tread

Falling is adrenaline rush wonder
Lets keep falling, together

At the bottom, I will tend to your bruises
So we can take another leap of faith

Ode to the belt
And how nice it never felt
Ode to the fist
That knew just how to make my stomach twist
Ode to the bruises
Which left no excuses
Ode to my jaw
For that punch it never quite saw
Ode to my ears
All those nights when I could hear my brothers' tears
Ode to my dad
And every time he's ever gotten mad
Ode to the world
And every obstacle its hurled
Ode to ode
And how well it never quite bode

I feel my outsides crack.
"Please-" I beg. "I take it back."
A set of white teeth glisten.
Bad words, mad words, I still listen.

With your fingers you paint me purple and blue.
Each spot a slightly different hue.
Then in front of others I wear a mask.
"I'm clumsy" - I tell those who ask.

You are all bark- yet you bite.
I shiver in fright.

You tell me I'm small.
What am I to you, a nut?
Mr. Nutcracker.

He loved her madly
Pinched skin, purple and blue. Still
her tears gave him joy.

Love love love
Ours is like withered flowers
Because whenever I see my dark circles
Or freshly painted bruises spreading over my canvas
I see violets blooming //
Love love love
Ours is like licking flames
Because whenever I look into your eyes
Or feel the warmth of your touch leaving burn marks
I remember who painted me //
Love is not *love at all
And I guess I'm beginning to see
That violet is your favorite color
And I am your masterpiece //
~a.p