Years fly by without a moment too soon
Our childhood is gone, Like a hazy sunday afternoon
We are no longer the same, children no more
We've grown up now, We aren't as close as before

I wanted to protect you from the world
I wanted to make things right
But It seems no matter how hard I try
You always look at me with spite

I wanted you to look up to me
I wanted to seem so cool
But every time I open my mouth
You treat me as if I am a fool

I wanted to help you
I wanted to treat you the best I can
But when I offer you help
You act as if you are a man

I wanted to change the past
I wanted to show you I can be kind
But whenever I show you love
Your response is always unkind

I know its time to stop pretending
To stop treating you as a kid
I know that you've grown up too
That nothing now can erase what I did

After everything we've been through
After all the damage we've done
Don't let growing up
Become the thing that makes us undone

So to my dearest little brothers
Even though you've grown so tall
Please don't forget me
I am your big sister after all

So tired of all the memories 
It brings me back to you
And I can't help but wonder
How I'll go on another year 
Fighting all these demons 
That remind me you're not here 

It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
I go back to that day 
And picture the last time 
It breaks me down
And I fall to my knees
Asking why?
Why? 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
One year passes, now almost two
And I'm scared to face it
But somehow you know 
And the day though dark 
Was suddenly turned brighter

A beautiful little face
Born on this day 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 

It's a bittersweet December 
And though it haunts me all the time
I can finally breath again
With the miracle you've blessed
 
In this bittersweet December

This shouldn't be a goodbye
But more a farewell
But not a farewell
Maybe a see you later
You saved me from myself
And taught me how to thrive
Without you I don't know
Where I'd be
With your help
I'm free and loved
I will never forget
Our times bumping music
Rap
To EDM
To alt rock
To even my favorite songs
That one time
Outside our dorm
There were the parties
There were the failures
And the successes
The losses
And the wins
You shielded me from evil
Without covering my eyes to it
I can't explain how
You changed my life
You made me see
I am not the devil
I am no demon
I deserve to live
To be loved
There was that night
Do you remember that night
I laugh and I laugh
At how I fell
Into the bushes
And I knew you would pull me up
Like you do every time I fall
I can't be mad at you
I can't because I know
That you've done more for me
Than I can repay
Crushing drinks
Eating pizza
Lighting my room
With strips of color
I can't list off
How you helped me
Feel normal
I'm not made fun of
Because I'm not the outcast
Instead I'm that guy
With a few savage comments
And a quirky sense of humor
Instead of a bad sense
From my darkest hour
You reached into the dark
And pulled me free
Inch by inch
Day by day
Success by success
Win by win
One by one
When you told me
Not to look back
One year
Or two
Or five
Not to see the evil
Of my past
But instead to see
The beauty of my future
And as you go off
To real life
You need to know
What I have to say
Before you go to war
You need to hear
These words
You are my brother
You are my friend
You are my hero
You are my green light
You are my starting line
You are my finish line
My goal
I want you to know
That the world
Will change
As will we
But I will never forget
What you've done for me
And although you're not a fan of him
I have to quote Jon Bon Jovi
He says:
"This isn't how the story ends
My friends it's just a fork along the road
Don't say your prayers
Say your amens
You've come this far
But you're still far from home
Don't say goodbye
Just say farewell
Write every line
You'll live to tell
Hold your head high
Like Harry
Give 'em hell"
He knows
What I want to tell you
Because I can't be you
For you
But I can try
To guide you
To stay you
To stay true
To the values
You put in me
For one day
I will see the karma
As you become a millionaire
And find love
And you'll look back
And know that I've been wishing
For this upon you
Because of all you did
For me
Thank you

It started with a single voice
Telling him to jump off the roof
Now, his head is full of voices
and as far as I know, they are all cruel

It started with a single voice
Now, one of them has replicated me
Convincing him that I have wronged him
Giving no power to my actual voice

It started with a single voice
Now, he believes everyone attempts to **** him
That the world is conspiring against him
That his thoughts have the power to take lives

It started with a single voice
Now, he sleeps in a locked monitored room
Drugged up with anti psychotics
Angry and confused

And they would
stand with me
refusing to let
light leave the room
like how during storms
the earth holds the grass
close to its chest.
My brothers,
What is this
Mad. Mad. Love.

"Brothers will fight one another
and **** one another.
Cousins will break peace
with one another.
The world will be a hard place to live in.

"…an age of the axe, an age of the sword,
an age of storms, an age of wolves.
Shields will be cloven."

Brothers fought one another
and killed one another.
Cousins broke peace
with one another.
The world was a hard place to live in.

But this is no battlefield of
gods and men
Nor triumph over fell beast
and the splitting of shields.

This is the exploding shell
down cobbled streets of old;
of thatched roofs ablaze,  
the ashen ruin of hearth and abode;
The weeping eye of Theotokos
in Ragnarǫk’s gaze.

Two decades before;
football on Christmas morn’.
'Stille Nacht' from the trench,
that soothing tune.

Giving of gifts and handshakes
And smiles in between,
When it first dawned upon you:
You were brothers.

you called me up.
it'd been a while
because i'd felt bad.
you needed help moving
out of that 'memory-infested
******' ****-hole' as you called it.
a rental truck stood in wait outside your house,
as did i.
we didn't wait long.
your face was the same, your body different.
your body screamed late night binge,
watching home videos
and crying into your takeout.
having a wife
and then suddenly not having a wife
will do that to ya.
you wiped a bit of sweat from your forehead
before it could gain traction
and trail down your face
like a salty
man-tear.
when we were done you looked exhausted,
and it was growing late,
but i was scared to leave.
"do you want a beer?" you said
so i think you were scared too.
we sat down on the couch, staring at the wall
almost pretending there was a tv mounted on it.
i resisted the urge
to tell you i was sorry,
*** who cares,
really, and
what if it killed the mood?
looking back
the mood was ****** anyway,
and i should've just hugged you.