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Jack Gladstone Aug 2015
It’s been too long since I’ve had a mental breakdown.
I feel it building that a pressure valve.
It’s been too long since I’ve had a good cry.
The other day someone told me it had been a long time since someone made them cry.
I congratulated them
only to realize the same was true for me and I don’t know how happy I am about that.
At least when someone made me cry it meant I had someone who could make me cry.

It’s been too long since I’ve been in love. I mean real love.
Just the other the day I was in love with a girl I saw on the street.
In my head her name was May, like the month but she was sick of people saying that to her.
In my head I talked to her and she talked to me and we went on a date and then another.
She met my parents and at first my mom didn’t like her as her hair was too short.
“How feminine could she be?” my mother would say
My mom would change her mind when May pretended to have the same opinion on some big issue
like gun control or the Casey Anthony trial.
In my head May is such a sweet heart.
We’d be happy for a long time and we’d get married and see the world,
I’d be successful and she would do whatever made her happy too.
We grew old in my head
and then we died in my head.
First she would die of cancer then I of a broken heart.
By the time all this conspired in my brain she was across the street and I decided it wasn’t worth the heartache to pursue her. Yes, it’s been too long since I’ve been in love and was loved in return. Since someone held my hand. Since someone looked me in the eyes and read my mind, my mind worn on the sleeves used wiping the tears of laughter from my face.

It’s all been too long.
I don't know the right words to say
and I also refuse to be cliche
but maybe those really are the magic words to take all of your pain away
so here lies a speech of mine
trying to make you feel fine.
I'll try to be a vine for you and reach out so you can let all your worries and thoughts wander around.
If there's one thing I've learned from a school specializing "stress" is that you can never survive by being alone and taking it all in just by yourself.
I guess once I've heard what ever is bothering you I'll say
"It's okay"
for I am at lost for words to say because no one has ever told me the magic words yet that would actually make me okay
but one thing is for sure, I'll be here to stay.

I have made a commitment that I'll never leave the people whom has showed me the true meaning of FAMILY.

You are a friend that I'll always defend for.

Cheer up and laugh with us.
Let us forget about our problems in a while and not make a fuss.
I guess it is okay to cuss and maybe feel a little lost
But always remember that we are here whom you can greatly trust.
Don't feel sad anymore please... Didn't you know that I actually forget about my school and life problems when I hang out with you guys?
Why is everyone getting black steal fences?
Is that like how the asphalt plant is hot topic in this stupid little town?
In the back of my head I stand screaming
"Nothing ******* matters! Nothing ******* matters!"
I would rather be in my own imagination
In my cognition
In my subconscious
It's better than this **** show called reality

Like this is how life really is?
Living in this dysfunction?
I wish I didn't have this personality
I wish I had a different life
I wish I was born in a different month
Or a different person
With a different smile and a different face
With a different body and a different job

This can't be what it's like?
I am so alone
I don't want to be alone
a Jun 2015
the room is a nursery
following the breakdowns
of all its residents at three
in the morning, it
whispers soft things
and peaceful melodies
and rocks them to sleep
when no one else will
Demonaru May 2015
I want you to go deep inside,
Look in that place where you hide.
That room which has been locked away,
Words, Ideas, Truths, and Secrets,
that you refuse to say.

Shelves of boxes labeled with fear,
but not one person comes near.
Only you dare walk alone,
To read the messages of these sins,
never atoned.

They always stay closed though,
Cowardice getting the better,
Never embracing what you have sown.
With nowhere to escape,
Your past builds up,
Pressing against your makeshift caution tape.

Eventually,
the boxes over encumber you,
and become too big for that small room.
So as one would assume,
you move them outside.
No longer has it become a place to hide.

From one space,
to the next,
It becomes your new existence,
No time for play, talk or ***.

All for the fear of opening a box.

No matter who you are,
The boxes are always there,
Like bone deep scars.
They can look different and every way,
but are always still the same.
They never go away,
but with help from others,
Your own mind becomes a safe place to stay.

I still have my boxes to open,
These words are me letting out one right now,
Even though this box is not overly endowed,

More boxes to unveil,
Thoughts that need to be let out some way,
truths that need to be taught.
But I'll get to that one day.
I'm a rocker who likes country
But lately what I find
is that whatever I am hearing
turns to foggy mountain breakdown
in my mind

I listen to Nirvana
And I love to hear it fuzz
But right now Dave Grohl's music
has got foggy mountain breakdown
kind of buzz

Someone saved my life tonight
Elton, don't you know
That right now when I hear it
it's got a foggy mountain breakdown
old banjo

Rock and Roll forever
That's always been my line
But now it doesn't matter
there's a foggy mountain breakdown
it sure don't sound like Motown
there's a foggy mountain breakdown
in my mind
If I could shatter
into a million pieces
I would spread myself across the world
So that there could be a part of me
Settled in every place
Maybe then I’d find a home
For each little broken bit
Because if I don't belong
In one place
Then maybe I can find
Safety in many  
Maybe then I’d finally feel whole
For if no place has all of me,
Then nothing can break me

But that's not exactly true
Because there is still the Earth

And perhaps the wind will sweep
A fragment of me up
And drop me in the ocean
Maybe the ocean will take it
And work me down to nothing
Maybe somewhere else
A fire will burn me up
Or maybe the rain will come
To wash me away
Maybe a storm will pound me down

Maybe I will turn to dust...

Dust that covers this earth
Dust that will spread
across the Universe
SJ Apr 2015
The sky is clear,
No cloud in sight.
Yet the mind is Dark,
Chaotic,
Turbulent.
Cronos in a rage.
Adrenaline peaks
And the heart stops.
The sky is clear,
No cloud in sight.
Your breath,
Shallow.
The wind blows strong.
Under currents drag,
And the light is too bright.
The sky is clear,
No cloud in sight.
Sounds swells.
There's a ringing in your ear.
A gunshot too close,
There's no violence,
Except for what rages within.
The sky is clear,
No cloud in sight.
And I reach out,
A flower,
refusing to Die.
I have been off kilter the last few weeks, and i am about to reach my breaking point...
DARLING IT'S INSANITY
You have lost your head
No truly, you have!
My, it's a wandering but where you'll never know
Until it hits you
In front of a million fiends
And people you'll never meet again
You're thinker is dying
LET IT BE
And enjoy the last gasping moments of your life
Smile
They will never know what haunts you

:D
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