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jewel Mar 31
it’s been a long day
so i’ll just turn in early for the night;
mint toothpaste & detergent & lotion
mix in with the smell of my blankets
as the afterlife waits for me

and i like the way my sheets
wrap & cradle my beat body
like a mummy, tender heart in a jar
basket of eyes & bowl of liver.
the afterlife waits for me.

but i do not rest easy
as i spend the minutes turning
over in my grave,
vision spinning in the darkness
unbound & chaotic

& i can’t help feel the hours
seep into my flesh & bones;
the energy that i want to lack
changes into radio static,
unbound & chaotic

& as i watch the light
out my window change
from black to blue to purple & pink
i wonder if lavender oils
will really help me fall asleep

or the maybe it’ll be the sound of tapping rain,
or maybe if i change my pillow cover
or what if i tried to reset my time
or what if i tried to close my eyes
if i really tried to fall asleep

i can’t help but think
my room is a beast in itself;
electrical hum & emerald blood;
& when everyone sleeps, i am
alive & awake & breathing

the quiet i so desperately lack in the sun
i hate so desperately in the dark
because when i sit here
the world is asleep
and i speak with the moon,
awake & alive & breathing
copyrighted, poemsbyjewel (2025).
What is beauty
Is it that perfect skin
What is beauty
But that perfect body
What is beauty
But happiness
But I give it the *******
The fact about beauty is that
It causes a walking skeleton of
Our daughter
The fact about beauty is that
Boys pump themselves
With steroids
The suffering that beauty brings
I see
Soon, I will have it the
*******
My thoughts on western beauty
In the boastful, casual manner you portray,
You betray your actual lack of ruthlessness.

The act is a fun game,
But the consequences are heavy.

If no one buys what you're selling,
Suffice to say you're starving.
If it causes greater harm or grief,
Suffice to say you're swinging.

For others yet are playing,
But play not.

For behind many faces hide wide smiles,
By many frames are different the pictures.
For the floors all are dusted.

Be ruthless in gentleness & kindness.
silvervi Mar 28
It's ok to feel discomfort in the body.
It's ok. Observe it, sensations are ever-changing. Nothing wrong with it.
dee Mar 26
Shall I give you everything you long for in this life.
knowing you don't deserve it?

Shall I tear myself from limb to limb
Rip the nerves from my muscles.
Split my skin and my core apart.
count each and every bone;

For it is all yours.

To be loved by you,
is equal to being torn apart.
My love like flesh, ripped to shreds.
When you took the colors of my world with you
with every cut, every bite, every word-formed weapon against me

I laid there frigid, empty, and bare.

The last few beats of my heart
were dedicated to you.

My last breaths spoke your name.

Sorting through my limbs.
Analyzing my own skin.
Drowning in the blood from my own flesh.
Looking under every *****.
My demise is your doing.
How strange it isn't an ounce of your soul
left over in my own remains.
I resent you now, look what you turned me into ????
silvervi Mar 24
Burning
Yearning
In my heart
It's deserving
To be heard.
Body's whispers
Become screams.
Thought streams,
Where are their hot springs?
Body-mind connection
Currently a hurtful interaction,
Heaviness inside.
Whether the mind's full or empty-
Hard to tell,
The spiral repeats,
Energy depletes,

As if under a
Spell,
Leaving the body
A heavy but empty,
A burning but cold,
A lifeless but longing
A hard but soft
Shell.
Grateful that poetry is always there. A home of it's own kind. Without judgement it receives and listens.❤️
Hex Mar 23
My heart may ache, but so does bone,
A weight too deep, a pain unknown.
Not just sorrow, my body knows,
It wilts, it bends, it breaks, it shows.
I'm tired,
But that's not everything,
I'm out of body,
Often with my soul wandering,
Watching over things and righting the displaced,
A fragment of what it should be,
So don't worry,
I'm tired too.
Zywa Mar 11
I live, I endure

the sharp sounds, I kiss the wounds --


then I cover them.
Composition "Drei Allmenden" ("Three Commons", 2020, Klaus Lang), for saxophone quartet and harmonium, performed by the Amstel Quartet  (saxophones) and Dirk Luijmes (harmonium and *****) in the Organpark on March 8th, 2025

Collection "org anp ARK" #101
Maryann I Mar 7
They call it a gift,
this body of mine,
but every month it gnaws at itself,
chews the lining of my womb,
spits out blood like a sacrifice
to a world that does not care.

I step outside,
eyes crawl up my skin like ants,
like maggots,
like fingers that never asked for permission.
A whistle slits the air—
a razor against my spine—
I swallow the bile, keep walking.

Mother said, don’t wear that
Father said, boys will be boys
I say nothing—
only dig my nails into my palms,
so deep the crescent moons bloom red.

I dream of shedding this skin,
peeling it back like an overripe fruit,
scraping out the parts that feel *****,
that feel weak,
that feel like they do not belong to me.
I want to be new,
to be sharp,
to be something they cannot touch.

But even in dreams,
they chase me.
Even in dreams,
I run.
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